i have a bone to pick with bitter asian men. why aren't they trying to date latinas, or african americans, or arabs, or native americans, or ... ? if you're gonna complain about being discriminated against because of your race, you better be correct yourself!

what's with the panda logo on the bitter asian men site? it looks like it's menstruating or something, pms panda.

I do agree with Claire. I have Asian friends who are too afraid of rejection that they never try asking girls of other races... then they turn around and complain about the girls.

one of guys says that "unfortunely he prefers asian girls". oh well..

'preference' notwithstanding, is it just a 'fear of rejection' or is it really a disdain for those perceived as 'less worthy'? this doesn't seem to be only an asian guy problem. if you look at the overwhelming majority of 'mixed' couples, it is asian women and white men. i don't think the white men are hypnotizing the asian women so what gives?
also, i don't see many waving the 'preference banner' in defense of those white guys that 'prefer' asian women so is it a real justification now? what if white girls said they 'prefer' white men? would that go down as easily as the 'preference' defense posted above?

i think there are a few reasons why it's hard for asian guys to approach other races. i would say fear of rejection is a huge reason, but there are other factors that are out of control.

i think one is that being with a caucasian (male or female) is seen as the gold standard. it's like you're moving up in the world. if you're an asian girl, being with a white guy somehow validates your being accepted as an american or whatever. for white girls, why date an asian guy when you can date a white guy? why date down in the social hierarchy?

this goes along with the previous reason, and it's that most white women just don't consider asian guys as possible companions. we can be great friends cause we're studious and nice, basically harmless guys. but we're not the guy they've dreamed about all their lives. we're not brad pitt or whoever. i'm not saying this is racism or anything...in fact i think it's innocent and inadvertent, but it happens nonetheless.

i also think there are stereotypes about asian guys. i mean it's what asian guys bitch about all the time, which is lame, but i don't think it's groundless whining. i think it sort of creates an inferiority complex.

i've been with two non asian girls and in neither case was i the one that made the approach. i think with most things it comes down to social circles and where you hang out. i mean walking up to a bombshell in a bar doesn't work for teh hottest white guy, i wouldnt expect it to work for an asian guy. but if you're around a girl a lot and she gets to know you as a person besides just being an asian guy, i think with most open minded girls you've got as good a shot as anyone.

rant over

hmmm, it seems that maybe you have set white women as the gold standard too. maybe i am leaping to conclusions, but it sounds like you have not considered dating a non-asian girl who is also non-white. as for white women not dating asian guys because of a 'why take a step back' mentality, white women date other non-whites, so why wouldn't they date asian guys too? it sounds like you would consider any of them (non-white and non-asian guys) as a 'step back' for her.

as for fear of rejection, does this fear on their part make them any more compassionate when someone comes up to them? or do they kick 'em to the curb with no remorse and no attempt at getting to know the person? mighty mighty props to claire at the start of this thread on telling asian guys that they had better check themselves before they kevitch about getting dissed on account of their being asian. karma is a hard teacher.

you are correct on the social circles thing - where and who you hang out with is a big factor. if you cocoon yourself in a limited range universe, don't be surprised if your sky has few stars.

on the asian girls and the 'moving on up' thing, where do they get that from and why does it not 'affect' their brothers when they are growing up too? or does it? don't think of people as merit badges you need to collect to gain entry to the next level. it demeans them and demeans you even more. plus, why would you want to aspire to join a group that (presumably) didn't want you in the first place?

i think it is real important that non-whites in the US (and the world) stop stop STOP allowing or accepting the premise that 'white' is the normative condition and that all others (theirs) are somehow less than normal. this is not said to diminsh white people but to recognize and acknowledge that all people are people and as people deserve a universal level of respect and dignity and that their histories, cultures and lives are just as valuable as anyone elses. please do not begin a round of 'Kumbiya' and hold hands! just treat me like you would like to be treated (unless you are a masochist since i am not!) and we are cool. deal with me as me and not as your preconceived notion of WTF based on some stupid unreal reality show or your limited exposure to a narrow sampling of manufactured MacCulture - predigested for your convenience.
so i suggest to the libertinea...Go get 'em tiger!!! and don't forget to ask her if fries come with that shake?

They said it! You go, um...men! :-o




#3. And to add, my experience is that of all four white girls who ever expressed any interest in me at all, ever, and didn't become soon after uninterested, well I don't know how to otherwise say it, they had some kind of Asian *male* fetish...what's up with that???



Although I can't be completely certain to state "fetish", both had had histories of dating other Asian men. What do these girls assume they will find that attracts them? I actually find myself generally disgusted by this idea because I don't understand it, and my suspicion leads me to think they have inaccurate assumptions about what they're going to get.

I wonder how much social relationships between Asian men and others all divides down between the different kinds of Asians as well as the mixes between Asians and Asian Americans. Would a Korean-American girl "accept" a Vietnamese-American guy? I wonder how the dynamic differs from areas where Asian Americans are (more / less) (assimilated / accepted) on (East Coast / Midwest / West Coast)? Maybe it matters less or works differently? And in Canada???

>i have a bone to pick with bitter asian men. why aren't they trying to date latinas
Good question; I wouldn't know as I've basically had no experience in relationships, and I'm single as ever, at 25 years old. (Bitter?)



However, I can say that I've found myself attracted to women of all sorts (desperation?) and although the majority of those would fall under "white American," I cannot recall specifically having rejected someone else's interest due to their ethnicity or color or ancestry, etc (yep, desperate). Although as before, considering the few number of women who have ever expressed any interest...my statistics are useless.



I *do* seem to have a preference for "white" women however, and even moreover, European women (?)



I form my identity less by my ancestry however, neither Asian nor American really, but more out of just "human". I wonder if some of this complicates the whole issue? I am hoping there are others out there who can see past the color / ancestry / etc. thing?

>i think there are a few reasons why it's hard for asian guys to approach other races.



I vote no on the "having fear of rejection"; at this point, I expect rejection, from her or me.



>i think one is that being with a caucasian (male or female) is seen as the gold



Wow, this is relative to individual values and is tough to generalize, isn't it? I don't see caucasian as a standard...at least I don't think I do. I'd like to meet maybe a cute Dutch, Swedish, German, British, Irish, Canadian, American, or Asian or...yeah--are those people all seen as "white" (disregarding American and Asian of course, although some would make the case as well on the latter)? I'd say Europeans have a very different culture, of course, and I think this affects the dynamic.



>an asian guy when you can date a white guy? why date down in the social hierarchy?



Depends on the social hierarchy. There are those who think that dating a white guy / girl is dating down...aren't there?



>but we're not the guy they've dreamed about all their lives.



This is a GREAT point, and more reason for me to be to just be more sorrowful than bitter; I agree. I guess me and white women are not made to be, if people see color or physical attributes as primary factors. I am open, but I've also mostly dreamed about white women; I am doomed.



Overall, it's tough trying to make guesses as to what others think, but I'd love to know, as I'm sure so many others would.



>white women date other non-whites, so why wouldn't they date asian guys too?
It would be good to know the reason why they date other non-whites, I guess.



>or does it?
"White" is neither a step up nor down for me--stepping down means accepting ill manners and behavior, however, regardless of physical characteristics.



I'm bitter. But more sad, because I've generally given up.



And thankful to all of you, as I am rarely involved in Asian American culture, and this is really my only way to hear other people's perspectives, outside of social cliques and group-think.

Gee Phil, you seem pretty down.

"...#3. And to add, my experience is that of all four white girls who ever expressed any interest in me at all, ever, and didn't become soon after uninterested..."

If they had a fetish, why would they then become uninterested? How do you distinguish an 'attraction' from a 'fetish'? Isn't a 'fetish' something where the person is 'objectified' such that they lose any real 'identity' other than as the 'thing' of the fetish? i.e. - any 'asian guy' will do, not a specific asian guy.

"...What do these girls assume they will find that attracts them? ... and my suspicion leads me to think they have inaccurate assumptions about what they're going to get."
As they have dated asian guys before, it would seem they actually found what attracts them. What do you think they would 'get' universally from 'asian guys' that they can't or won't get from other guys?

"I wonder ..."
Good questions. What's your experience?

"Good question; I wouldn't know ..."
Bad answer. The question was not 'what is your experience with...' but 'why don't you try to date...'. Your lack of success in this area could be due to many factors - not trying would be a leading one. Why haven't you tried?

"...I've found myself attracted to women of all sorts (desperation?)..." Nope. Human.

I *do* seem to have a preference for "white" women however, and even moreover, European women (?)

"I form my identity less by my ancestry however, neither Asian nor American really, but more out of just "human"...."
It doesn't complicate it, but I suggest that it is somewhat impossible. Your preference for *European* women would be impossible to identify without some corresponding descriptor to compare them against. You must have an idea of 'non-European' to compare to 'European' so that you can 'name' your preference.

"I vote no on the "having fear of rejection"; at this point, I expect rejection, from her or me."
Could it be that this self-defeating attitude manifests itself and leads to the inevitable rejection? A little Dr. Phil-ish, but...

"Wow, this is relative to individual values and is tough to generalize..."
You stated a preference for 'white' and/or European, so apparantly it is not so difficult to 'pin' on a person. Actually, I would contend that Canadians, British\UK or Americans cannot be automatically catagorized or assumed to be white. This is one of the 'problems' in my opinion.

'Europeans' do not have a monlithic culture. Is it the 'culture' you like or their ethnicity? Would an ethnically Aborigine woman born, raised and acculturated in Stockholm satisfy you? She would be 'European' in culture, but not ethnically.

"Depends on the social hierarchy. There are those who think that dating a white guy / girl is dating down...aren't there?"
True, but this thread was looking at it the other way.

"This is a GREAT point, and more reason for me to be to just be more sorrowful than bitter; ... me and white women are not made to be ... but I've also mostly dreamed about white women; I am doomed."
And overly melodramatic.

"..It would be good to know the reason why they date other non-whites, I guess."
Could it be because they like the person? Maybe they (those white women that date non-whites) are NOT equating their partner to a 'trophy' or symbol which they must 'acquire' to be happy.
Maybe they think he will be good in bed, treat her nicely, has a rich uncle.

"I'm bitter. But more sad, because I've generally given up."
Cheezz'n Crackers! You're 25!!! give the 'sad sack' thing a rest.

"And thankful to all of you, as I am rarely involved in Asian American culture, and this is really my only way to hear other people's perspectives, outside of social cliques and group-think."
Why can't you 'engage' with other persons or groups? Do you live somewhere that has no 'minorities' at all?

This is for Phil and for all the other "bitter Asian men" out there who think that AA women don't want to date them. (Not to dismiss the great convo that came before me, but my heart goes out to Phil..)

I'm an Asian American woman and I've dated many Asian American men. Also Latino, African American, Asian (in Asia) and white.

I probably would have dated a lot more Asian American men had they simply asked. Especially at Phil's age, a lot of guys don't realize that it's not going to just fall out of the sky, you've got to do your part. What's your part?

-Don't come up with some skeezy line, just be friendly and genuine. Get to know a girl as a person.

-Work on yourself. I may go on one date with you, but that's the last date if you haven't read any books, thought about issues of the human condition, made something cool, or gotten out into the world. Girls have standards -and would you want to date one who didn't?

-Know what you want. I've dated so many guys who pursued me who didn't really want a relationship. But didn't really know that, and weren't emotionally intelligent enough to take responsibility for that. Why waste my time? Being in a relationship takes work, costs money, and means you don't get to date other women. If you aren't ready for that then let the girl know that all you want is a booty call, maybe someone will take pity on you.

-Get involved in your community, whatever that is. Model airplanes, political organizing, siprograph artists, whatever you are. Great way to meet chicks and guys without friends aren't so attractive.

-work out. it's good for you and you won't date someone you're not attracted to either, so don't go whining about girls being all shallow. In the same vein, go get some nice clothes and do something about your hair.

-Learn how to treat a woman well. Ask your female friends what their ideal date is. Find out what makes a girl happy (it's really not that hard, trust me).

-I could go on and on, but i have to work. But think of it this way: if you picture a guy who works out, has good clothes and nice hair, who knows how to treat women well, who is confident and sincere and interesting and well-rounded and emotionally mature (which you should be anyway, just to enjoy your stay here on earth) -do you think that guy --Asian, white, Latino, whatever-- is going to be single for very long? Only if he wants to be.

For the replies I thank you.


This is all very complex, and I honestly don't think I'm being unrealistic by saying, to begin: I'm a tough and complex case. I'm unusual.


This is not an Asian American or Asian-related issue, but being Asian doesn't help I think. So I'll try to stick to the subject. I want to avoid using..."I" a lot, but I think I'm about to uh...fail miserably.


>Gee Phil, you seem pretty down.


Occasionally, I am. Don't get me wrong though, I'm pretty laid back about relationships, and over time treat it less and less gravely. I don't think my speaking style transfers well over the internet.


>If they had a fetish, why would they then become uninterested?


I was unclear; sorry! Of four girls, two had a fetish--and there I was unclear too: I cannot definitively say it was a fetish, but I would say it was I guess really, a definite preference of Asian over white men, yes? So: why? I don't know.


The other two were quickly disgusted, and that was all me I guess. :-P They never called back and so, I never knew why it didn't work--Asian or not.


>Isn't a 'fetish' something where the person is 'objectified' such that they lose any


In one of the two above cases, I'd definitely say I kind of felt that way. My relationships with women never last long. Me again. But, I chatted with this girl later and, she was with yet another Asian dude. Why!? Dunno.


>it would seem they actually found what attracts them. What do you think they would 'get'
>universally from 'asian guys' that they can't or won't get from other guys?


Well, previously, she might have found Asian dudes attractive, but I didn't have those qualities. I don't know--but that's an issue. Are women with a preference toward Asian American guys assuming they have similar characteristics and personality traits (stereotype)? I don't fit that, and I guess I'm kind of glad about it.


>Good questions. What's your experience?


Wow, you're asking me??? I was hoping for someone to have the ultimate 50 word answer, it's a tough one.


I may be ignorant, but my observations have suggested:


*At Ohio State, people group together by ethnicity, it seems, so Koreans hang with Koreans, for example. But I don't know if this is influenced by nationalism or something? I can understand being able to speak with people who share common experiences though... And Asian Americans group with their own as well, whereas I don't group with them much.

*There's probably some percentage of native Asians who stick to their nationality. I don't know about Asian Americans who are of single nationality. I'm open though.

*There's a lot of Asian American girls who seem to stick to white guys.

*More assimilation means less fuss about interracial relationships.

*Being Asian is less of an issue, at least it seemed so while I was there, in LA, and in Chicago too.

*Midwest: I think a lot of white girls who are actually native to the Midwest would want to stick with white guys, but that's just an assumption. And I don't know if they immediately dismiss Asian guys, but that's my belief.

*It's always when I feel like racism isn't an issue, that something proves me wrong. That happens more often lately, but in this case, I was with a white girl in a small city in Ohio, stopping for dinner in a family restaurant style deal. While we are being seated, the black waiter says to the all white family sitting at the table something under his breath, or whatnot, and the people he was focusing on seem to agree, in disdain. We left. (!)

*From what I've heard and some of what I've seen, diversity is alright, at least in Toronto.

>The question was not 'what is your experience with...' but 'why don't you try to date...'.

Good point...well first, now looking at it I don't know if Claire was addressing the guys on the web site specifically or asking the question in general, but assuming the latter...


I guess I don't qualify to answer that question because I don't try to date anyone, and that certainly would be part of the problem, eh? As in, I am not making a focused effort to date women, so yeah, problem. But if the opportunity were there to "date" a non-white, non-Asian girl, I wouldn't count her out just because she was not white.


Was "At" suggesting that a fear of rejection prevented Asian boys from asking non-white, non-Asian girls? Or does this include white girls--since in this case, they are "other" as well? Asian men should fear rejection from everyone, it seems, from the evidence. That's why I'd be bitter.


I do not rule girls out for race or ethnicity. Perhaps I do fear rejection, but it's more that I assume the answer is no. Yes, self-defeating.


>Your lack of success in this area could be due to many factors - not trying would be a

>leading one. Why haven't you tried?


It's tough, but I don't think the issue is Asian-American or Asian specific. But: I am a weird guy...non-traditional, I guess.


I want to begin as friends, and maybe just stay friends. Some girls don't do that(?) They just want to find one guy and get married. I want the exact opposite. That's a more American girl issue, maybe, who knows. Really I just want someone to go shopping and do road trips with--no kidding. :-o


Trying is hard--most of my friends left town after they graduated, while I stayed here. Making new friends is tough, because my interests (club music, djing, Asian American issues, rec sports, etc.) are not served much locally, or group pursuits, so I'm less likely to find venues for new relationships.


Perhaps I'm getting this all wrong?


>it is somewhat impossible. Your preference for *European* women would be impossible to

>identify without some corresponding descriptor to compare them against. You must have

I am confused. European women--as in, those whom I have seen and known from specific countries, that I know are of specific ethnicity. But also it's a culture thing too--I like the way they (at least from those I've known, mostly Germans) treat relationships. Probably more culture than looks--there are a lot of attractive looking women in America, no doubt.

>Could it be that this self-defeating attitude manifests itself and leads to the


Ha, yes, I won't disagree. Perhaps so. Maybe I'm sending signals I don't know about. But I've rejected women here and there I guess, at least it seemed that way. And I've definitely had my share of "disappearances" from those I wanted to keep in touch with.


>You stated a preference for 'white' and/or European, so apparantly it is not so difficult


But it's only a preference. I don't think white or European is the standard for everyone, but maybe a large number of Americans, though. We're all people.


>Canadians, British\UK or Americans cannot be automatically catagorized or assumed to be


Somewhat confused but...I'd say the issue of what defines "white" is problematic. I think it describes primarily white Americans however--that's how I think many see it here.


>Is it the 'culture' you like or their ethnicity? Would an ethnically Aborigine woman born,


My preference would be someone with both, but culture is more important.


>And overly melodramatic.


That was somewhat the point, I think. :-P Perhaps it will all work out, but as above, I think it's going to be tough.


>Could it be


Could be...there's so many possibilities of course, though.


>"I'm bitter. But more sad, because I've generally given up."

>Cheezz'n Crackers! You're 25!!! give the 'sad sack' thing a rest.

Ha, I guess that came off a little extra grave. I think I meant to say resigned...?

How do I explain this?

I was at that moment, bitter about the thought that I may be statistically unlikely to find what I'm looking for because of reasons I can only guess. But, I've given up the idea of finding someone actually happening, so I can only be sad so long, right? :-D

A shirt I saw once said, "I feel much better now that I've lost all hope" or something. There you go. It's complex. I'm not pitying myself, it just sucks, and that's a fact.

But this has all been thought provoking and somewhat invigorating.

>Why can't you 'engage' with other persons or groups? Do you live somewhere that has no

Columbus, Ohio and the surrounding area has a weird population--specifically for minorities. I would like to get more involved with Asian Americans as a political identity.

Most of the Asian American groups here are social. After they graduate, most students (in general) leave the city. So it's kind of an empty city, even if there are something like over a million people here. A side note, but, just addressing it.

After looking at it more carefully, it looks like the bitter Asian men site guys are somewhat model minority elitists, and have assimilated well into American culture at least academically and professionally, so I can't help but find a point of contention, as I am more the "failure" type or what ever it's called. I don't see it that way, honestly, but, I just can't recall the actual term. Can't agree with everything.

Many years ago, in the morning, at Ohio State, an Asian male described as something like 220 lbs, 5'x"-5'6", fell /jumped off the top floor of one of the Computer Engineering building's balcony, and I couldn't help but to feel very empathetic I heard about it.

This probably best characterizes my feelings about this whole bitter Asian men issue--I felt so bad for that guy...one of my first thoughts was...short...Asian...I feel like I have at least both of those things going against me. For all I know it could have been an accident. Worse, I tried to keep up with news, but I never found out the resolution. However, it was over a month later, and for whatever reason, no one still had identified the man, and his relatives had still not been contacted. Very sad.

>I'm an Asian American woman and I've dated many Asian American men. Also Latino, African

And for Jennifer's message...good to know there are some out there! Oddly, I'd say the same of Asian American women. An Asian American girl who I only knew had dated one white guy, seemed to be distant. I took that as dismissing me as a possibility. So, I never "asked."

Certainly, I should take action on your suggestions, I could use some work in all those areas...but I think most of the work I have to do is particular to me, and not even an Asian thing. I don't know what it is but I think women just don't like me. Sucks. I could use some work regardless.

>at Phil's age, a lot of guys don't realize that it's not going to just fall out of the sky,

That's definitely one of my problems. But, one major thing is that I'd prefer to just have a lot of friends, who are girls, for starters. Even in that area I am at a loss for some reason. Just at an unusual intersection in life perhaps.

When I do get concerned, it is because I am as old as I am and I've never even "dated" really, and I haven't had a lot of female friends really, which makes me wonder how successful I'll be if I've never even had practice having female friends...so to put it in short "at this rate, I won't have a girlfriend for another decade" is my worry. But perhaps I can move more quickly on it now. From here, I'm not waiting for time to tell anymore.

Thanks though all...!

Phew. I am NOT doing that again. I don't think.

To get the Asian-women-who-go-for-white-guys perspective, I asked a friend of mine who falls into that category to explain herself. She said that she found Asian men to be sexist and unable to communicate feelings. When pressed, it seems that this image was derived from her relationships with her father and brother. And so we have the "you remind me of my brother" excuse.

It it just that? -- an excuse. Her father and brother are certainly not the only Asian men in her life. She had lots of male Asian friends in college, I'm pretty sure that not every single one of them (or even a majority) were sexist and uncommunicative. But perhaps the image of your father is the one you carry around the most in your head and shapes what kind of person you date. For some people anyway.

well, it begs a couple of questions. assuming she doesn't want someone like her father or brother is a legit feeling, has she never met any uncommunicative and sexist white men? i would bet she has, yet that has not detered her from seeing still other white men. this is sort of the mirror image of Melissa's question.

and if the 'not like my father\brother' is the driver, aren't there other men who are 'not like father\brother' besides white men? why only white men? (I assume 'only' based on the description) why not others?

the thing that i find interesting is that there is a recurring theme of "white people as the norm" against which all other people are measured. it is as though when you say 'people' you mean 'white people' and when you talk of anything else, you then add an adjective. it's like white=people and everyone else is 'people-lyte' or semi-people.

we've got to lose this!

Phil,
You're not alone. I've been single since the year 2001 and I'm older than you. Somehow, I find being single fun in a way. I found a hobby to keep myself busy and my mind busy. I don't really think about having a relationship anymore. I mainly focus my attention to other things in life.

Phil U, you sound like you have some interests that are, ummm...interesting. If you like them and engage them with passion and joy, then someone else will value them (and you) as they see how you react. They will want to share your joy.

Jennifer's tips of proper social decorum and grooming are valid and (i think) should go without saying. I'm not suggesting you go all 'Joey Bag-o-donuts' on us with a red polyesther disco shirt and a 'horn of plenty' pendent! Also, you don't need to 'go to the gym' to stay healthy; you can exercise in other ways, but the concept is the same.

First and foremost, I would say stop 'looking' for relationships - not stop living, but stop trying to find 'connections' where none may exist. Take a more zen approach - do what needs doing at the time it needs to be done. But pay attention to what is around you!

Get positive! (I know - Ohio is hard on us all). And DON'T set a preconceived notion about someone's wothiness or ability to rock your world based on their ethnic background. Rent the Human Stain for an interesting treatment of the subject. As for being 'snowblind' - buy shades! Rayban - they're polarized to correct for that sh**!

Let me put a plug in for those Malay gals --- ohhhh fine!! (and don't forget about Dhjibouti and Ethiopia! OMG! OMG!!!)

A questioner, the "white people as the norm," concept is one of the presuppositions that people historically have used as a justification (although unspoken) for colonization and subjugation of people who have color in their skin worldwide.

The term "people," will only be applicable to those who are caucasian, thus all other groups are "non-people." Having this base belief makes it much easier to sleep at night for those who participate in enslaving others, subjecting others to inhumane working conditions, and denying others humanitarian aid, etc. Why feel pangs of guilt when they're merely savages? They're merely saving us from ourselves; dog only knows where we'd be if left to our own backwards devices!!!

And when is it the "oppressor" can truly cheer for victory? When the minds and hearts of the oppressed have been broken to the point where even they believe the hype and twisted logic used to enslave them in the first place.

That such a notion still exists, and even exists in the minds of some people who are ethnic minorities, is somewhat of a proof that manifest destiny/colonial mindset are sadly still alive and well.

"You can't hold a man (woman) down without staying down with him (her)."

Booker T. Washington.

As an Asian American woman, I'm going to have to say that a lot of the reasons as to why AA women don't date AA men are good, but I think we forget the most important reason: They simply don't click.

At the risk of sounding like a hippie, I'm going to have to say to love or to like someone doesn't mean that you have to adhere to certain race. I've dated AA men and white men. I'm currently with a white man, but I don't think that the reason we are together is because I hate AA men. Rather, I found that I had a lot in common with this white man.

The idea of white as a "gold standard" is a bit ridiculous. But I think that the way you grew up has a lot to do with how you choose your date or mate. I grew up ABC, so my ideas tend to think less traditional Asian and more white. Doesn't mean I find one race more attractive than the other. I've found attractive men of all races. But it does mean that in terms of thinking, I find myself in less of a traditional "wife" sort of place, and more "modern woman."

OK, this is getting interesting. Between RememberMe? and Reiha, where do you start? RM - BINGO on your points, although I am kind of past the Frantz Fanon-esque 'wretched of the earth' tone that some of what you've written takes on. But to the extent that non-white people take on an attitude (not a very accurate description, but) that their definition of themselves must always be in juxtaposition to white people, then we (non-whites) place ourselves in the 'secondary' role. We don't exist without them. This would (probably) manifest itself over time in an ever-spiraling sort of group mistrust or self hate. Now, I don't think that white people, in large measure, sit around plotting our demise, but to the extent that they view themselves as 'people' and they (with our assistance) view non-whites as 'other (than) people' like themselves, it allows or perpetuates condescension and paternalistic behaviour which is ultimately bad for us. RM's 'ohh, let us pity the poor savages and help them'.

Now Reiha, your post begats some questions (damn, I'm nothing if not consistent!) So, you grew up ABC - any brothers? Any ABC boys in the neighborhood? School? Irrespective of the actual answer, there certainly are MEN that grew up ABC too. So it would stand to reason that they would have similar 'AMERICAN' cultural norms and values too. Remember, 'culture' is NOT carried in the DNA, so it doesn't tranfer like eyelids, lips, skin colour, etc. If it did, then you would long to be a 'wife' and not a 'modern woman' using your rationale. It would seem that you think of the 'American' part of ABC as synonomous with white. This is key to RM's post (and mine earlier). Umm, last time I checked, some 35% of America is NOT white, so where are those folks from to you? Are they squatters? Interlopers? Illegals? It would seem that you have not met any 'modern' latino, black, arabic, indian or - dare i say it - asian men in your travels. This seems unlikely at best (unless you are in Idaho, and then 'modern' might be the sore point). But maybe you have developed a mote in your eye which seems to make those non-whites 'invisible' or at least un-American. Why? How? Why wouldn't the same 'A' factor you cite as your 'influence' affect any other American-born whomever?

Now, I fully agree with your 'hippie' sentiment, but a question that you might ask yourself is did you effectively 'rule out' certain types of persons based on a pre-conceived notion of what they must be 'about' because of a limited definition of 'American'?

Now, this thread has long left the realm of getting Phil the 'hook-up' but, a casual review of statistics would indicate that AA women (Note: in order to use that shorthand, one must 'assume' a definition for 'AA', which by defacto, means that you've excluded certain types of people out of 'habit'). Sharpened pencil - AznAm women 'outmarry' at at rate that is only matched by Jews and white Hispanics ('white' Hispanics would be the european descendants that reside - and dominate - mexico, cuba, and latin america - for which Hugo Chavez and his ilk are the bane of their existence) this rate is nominally reported at over 30%.

Assuming you can get past the question of 'why so many?', consider this, if the 'hippie' mentality was the pure driver, one would assume that the mix of outmarried AznAM women would distribute themselves across the population relatively evenly with the overall demographics; 15% to latinos, 15% to blacks, 65% to whites and 5% to 'others'. but they don't. not even close. the mix is over 98% to whites. apparently either latinos, blacks, and 'others' don't find AznAm women attractive or AznAm women don't 'consider' non-whites, other than Azn Men, viable. I am betting its the latter if the constant refrain of 'uncontrollable fetishism' is to be believed.

So, to what do we attribute what would arguably be seen as (from the statistical evidence) a verficiation of RememberMe?'s variant on the 'Stockholm Hostage' theory - they have sided with their oppressors? Reiha, this is not to attack you personally, you may have much more in common with this specific white man than any other man you've met, but it would seem pretty amazing that in the broad array of statistical evidence provided, that Azn/Am women almost ONLY find common interests with white men and those that don't are almost always filipina, hapa, or SE asian and rarely east asian (korean, japanese or chinese) - your personal knowledge of an 'exception' notwithstanding. WE all know, but don't speak to, the 'pecking order' in the pan Asian cornicopia.

Wouldn't one expect a greater and broader 'commonality' of interests across a spectrum of 'Americans' assuming a relatively uniform culture, such that we are defining it as 'American'?
But we don't see it. Something has prevented this acceptance of pan-American culturalism from really leaping across ethnic boundaries amongst the 'wretched of the earth' - the evidence of things not seen - James Baldwin.

damn this got long! sorry 'bout that. peace.

PS. Phil - hit those Ethiopian restaurants in Ohio - the women are fine! and they have great food!

You know,

there are lots of asian woman in this world. They just don't live in the US. All you need is a ticket. Any place over there would find your exotic American-ness most appealing. Also, if you want to date White girls, then just go to the source. Europe. Again, your Asian-American-Ness is just so incredibly sexy anywhere on the continent of Europe.

To get a date. My advice--get out of the US.

I did. I have never looked back.

It was indeed exhilirating to be checked out by chicks. Good looking ones at that. If you are well developed by American standards, you are positively Arnold over there.

Yikes, the girls behind the lunch counter. The incredibly sexy girls on scooters slowing down to check you out. For a poor, short, near-sighted Chinese boy from an all white neighborhood, this was something so unexpected my socks kept coming off.

And so I ended up in a bar. And so I asked the absolute cutest girl in the place for a date. And so we fell in love and got married. Honestly, 2 kids later, it has been quite a life. And I have just begun.

I am glad that I grew up in the US. I speak with the Franca Lingua of this new world civilization. I am both the kick-ass Americano and the wise subtle Chinee. Yes, my brothers we will rule the world. The rest of the world will only realize once it is too late. Goody for folk like us.

gg

Sorry asian guys......

Some girls are just now slaves to their parents......

There is no conspiracy......

You can fuck who u want......

I hope more asians learn that.....

Peace

and thus spoke zarathustra???

you can (or should) only fuck who wants to fuck you.

"When you control a man's [or woman's] thinking you do not have to worry about his actions. You do not have to tell him not to stand here or go yonder. He will find his "proper place" and will stay in it. You do not need to send him to the back door. He will go without being told. In fact, if there is no back door, he will cut one for his special benefit. His education makes it necessary." - Carter G. Woodson

"Sorry asian guys......"
----Sorry ThyHorrorCosmic,

"Some girls are just now slaves to their parents......"
----Some morons have serious reading problems......

"There is no conspiracy......"
----Nobody said a fucking thing about any fucking conspiracy at any fucking time.....

"You can fuck who u want......"
----Why don't you take your own advice: fuck off........

"I hope more asians learn that....."
---I hope yellow-fevered losers learn what it means to respect themselves and others.....

"Peace"
---uh, Peace.

Phil U., how are you doing out there in the heartland? Making any progress?

White women are the least liberated at least here in the US. Some do date black men, but very few. Many date Hispanics, but these are Hispanics who are closer to being white. It enables these women's future children to enjoy the privileges of the white society and also benefit from Affirmative Action. White girls and women of mixed white Hispanic and white non-Hispanic parents seem to enjoy the privilege of both being a white as well as a minority.

Asian men, myself included are the lowest in the totem pole. Most are not classified as disadvantaged and hence are not included in most affirmative action programs. And Asian men do not have the privilege of being white. Marrying an Asian man means marrying down form most white women and hence it does not happen often. These are statements of facts, not self pity or whining.

Well George I can accept some of your facts and not others.

As to 'liberated' women, most of the 'Women's Liberation Movement' has been spearheaded, and focused on, white, middle class women. So much so that there is some tension between these 'movement groups' and women of color who feel that their issues are ignored by groups like NOW.

Also, I believe that white women marry 'outside their race' more than any other group even if we 'normalize' the statistics for your very apt discussion of the white\hispanic intermarriage rate, [an illustration - Cameron Diaz could claim to be hispanic by virtue of the 'Diaz' but she would hardly be considered 'a women of color' if you look at her. This is a common situation for many 'hispanics'. It is one of the many flaws in the racial 'classification' system.], other than asian women when you factor in their (asian women) marrying white men (nominally 25 - 30%). If you left out the asian woman\white man couples, I think asian women would score near the bottom in terms of 'out-marrying'.

The chief beneficiaries of 'affirmative action' have been, and still are white women - whether they are married to hispanics or not.

As for Asian men being 'lowest on the totem pole', I don't know exactly which pole you mean, but Asians are considered 'minorities' so programs designed to assist minority and women owned businesses do help asian men. This is reinforced by the program at the recent NAAAP convention on "How to get Certified as a MBE" (Minority Business Enterprise).

Asian men also outearn black and hispanic men. So I don't know if you are at the 'bottom' of any totem - unless it is the 'bagging a white girl' totem.

For that you may have to work on your 'rap', learn to hold your breath and develop a fondness for 'diving'. Not too fast, not too slow, not too hard, not too soft. Try to hum while you do it - it makes the time go faster.

This dialogue drifted while I disappeared!


Just checking in...nothing new here questioner...as before, I have things to work on on my own before the whole relationship thing.


But I still feel disadvantaged in the whole "game."


I am not a member of the model minority, so people who even think I may at least be a doctor or engineer will be displeased...although the values of those who judge others' success based on such criteria are not people I should find much in common with anyway...right?


I'm not tall (seems to be a uh, large issue), or attractive by traditional standards...


Which I think rules out a lot of people: those who value "high class" professions, and those who value aesthetic. I can see good in both, but I don't fit either model perfectly, or closely really. So I still think it will be tough, because despite how much people don't say they value such things, I think there is at least a little bit of that kind of discrimination initially. And that's where it counts.


In the meantime I'd rather work on my own life anyway...there's a lot to do and perhaps as a defense mechanism, I feel like there's not enough time for a relationship.


BUT, I do wish I just had more female encounters--as friends (and as before, a lot of females seem to want husbands, and not just friends).


Who knows! I'd like to think it would work out, but I have basically no female friends, and I don't know how this came to be. Waaah.


I haven't even had a real date in my life. :-/


Thanks for asking though...hopefully something will manifest soon. I do believe that I have a greater advantage the more I work on my own life. So here we go...

I have one solution....Let's all stick to our own kind...If we did that this wouldn't be an issue...
Why are you all trying to analyse why "this race" is not liking "that race"...."Why this??Why that??Let's see....hmmmm... "This is my theory"....

I can care less if white,black,hispanic or any other females do not find me attractive or don't see me as husband/boyfriend material...I'm on this freaking planet for a purpose......
it sure isn't figuring out what another IMPERFECT human being thinks of me..

Phil: "I do wish I just had more female encounters--as friends (and as before, a lot of females seem to want husbands, and not just friends)."

You are hanging out in the wrong crowd dude! There are plenty of women who want guys as friends, not just mates. If the women you are meeting seem to only care about career and aesthetics (ie status) as you claim, then you are hanging round the wrong places and around the wrong people. Go out there and do something you like and maybe you won't meet such shallow people.

Rick: Stick to our own kind? Now, I'm all for Asians loving other Asians, but come on, this is America in the 21st century, not the 50s. You can't go around these days sticking to your own and not interacting with different people.

Anna,I never said anything about not interacting with other people.I interact with people of different races all the time.I was referring to not getting involved romantically.

It's wonderful to have friends of other races,but when it comes to romance...

...you should find someone you love and that loves you and together you make each other feel better and stronger. and that means you shouldn't lock people out because of their race because you might miss the person that fits best with you.

Rick, When I talk of interacting with other people, I do mean in a romantic way, since this whole thread is about romance. Or at least how to get some dates.

I'm not saying it's a bad idea to look for a partner of your own ethnicity to date. Of course you should -- there are a lot of things that just feel right when you're with someone from the same culture. You just don't have to explain a lot of shit.

And I understand how it can be a political choice for some people, to say, as a minority, "I'm not going to date any white people." However, to say that you're only going to date just one ethnicity and not even look at anyone else, how is that a solution? You're completely ignoring the whole social fabric of this country and discounting the experiences of many Asian Americans. And sometimes, depending on where someone may be, there just aren't a whole lot of us around.

And as a questioner says, you might miss out on someone great because ultimately it comes down to personality, not ethnicity, don't you think?

So Phil,
how's 'the project' going? Of course, the unexamined life is not worth living. But don't get analysis paralysis either!

Remember try dining Ethiopian! Great food and you can eat with your hands! Very healthy too!

(I'm talking about food here!!!)

Be Happy.

Wow, I didn't realize so many people were interested in the romantic lives of Asian men. I suppose I find it rather intriguing and also a bit silly.

As an American-born Chinese guy in my 30s, I should say that I don't recall ever having been bitter about dating; so I don't paricularly relate to the perspective of the Bitter Asian Men website. Over the years I've dated women of almost every ethnicity -- black, white, East Asian, South Asian, Arab, Latina -- without giving the matter as much thought as has been poured into this thread. If I'm interested in a woman and she's interested in me, great. If not, great. I see no reason to resent women who aren't interested in me, whatever their reasons.

As I see it, the reasons a woman might not be interested in a paricular Asian man are probably the same reasons she's not interested in a man of any other background: he's just not a turn-on for her, it's just not a match, maybe he has bad style, or talks and acts like a dork, or simply doesn't project confidence or strength or sensitivity.

Indeed, the entire Bitter Asian Men perspective strikes me as a turn-off, a self-indulgent self-pitying excuse for not being in control of your own life and not having the guts to do something about it. It's a whiny disempowering self-fulfilling prophecy.

On the other hand, I do recognize that racial stereotypes exist and affect the way people perceive one another. The ridiculous stereotype of the emasculated Asian male probably doesn't help adolescent guys trying to learn how to approach women. But who said life was fair? We all have uphill battles to fight in a world characterized by white male supremacy.

My unsolicited and probably unwelcome advice to bitter Asian men: don't whine, don't blame women for not being attracted to you, don't feel sorry for yourself; have some guts, have some authentic style, empower yourself. In the words of the great funkster George Clinton, Free your mind and your ass will follow.

Peace,
Kai

"I find it curious that many Asian American entrants, even those with a perfect command of English, don't use the first- person narrative. The word "I" doesn't appear on the page, leaving writers to struggle with the awkward "one,"

I'M Asian and I think this thread is the dumbest shit I've ever heard.

"I don't know what's up with Asian women who won't date Asian men. Hey, it's their loss." My question is, "who really cares?". It's nobody's loss. If anything, why cant we be once happy for the happily engaged couples? Why do we always have to be so negative and judge other asians (or whites) whether who they should date or not? Most importantly, why is this even a race issue, just simply because an Asian woman is dating a white man, as if it's such a taboo? There are more important things to be bitter about and its not about this petty annoyance.

Zashiki, Who cares? Well lots of people care. Lots of people care so much that everytime we bring up dating, the issue of white men and Asian women couples comes up and people go on and on about it. It IS a race issue because Asian American women outmarry at a high rate and when they do, it's mostly to white men. Why is that? Something to think about. This is not about one specific person dating another person that we know. This thread is about a pattern, and what leads to that pattern. So people put forth their theories: white as "right" and upward mobility? Emasculation of Asian American men? Perception of Asian American men as sexist by Asian American women? Self hate? This thread is really a disucssion of how Asian Americans fit into our soceity.

I'm not saying we shouldn't be happy for happy couples. No one is trying to undermine the happiness of people in love. This thread isn't about happy couples though.

I see. But what if it was a reversed role? Do we give Asian American women more kudos if we hear them say instead "I only date Asian men?". That would only narrow their standards, as well. Pattern or not, those self-deprecating Asian men who sees this as a threat must have inferiority complex. Keep in mind, we ARE in a country filled with different races/nationality. We're all bound to date other than our own race.

Sadly, because of this... we are losing our touch of our roots. I say, carry your heritage to your tombstone. But realistically, in this country, that will slowly dissipate.

Nice thing is that I've been seeing ALOT of Asian American men dating white women, as well. I dont go around being bitter about it, either. I'm hoping there would be more of interracial couples, so there would be less of this self-deprecating and self-pity remarks.

I don't think we should give anyone -- men or women -- props for dating only their own kind (as someone else above suggested as a solution to this "problem.") It makes perfect sense, as you say, that we are bound to date people of other races given the makeup of our society (and the fact that Asian Americans are still a small percentage of it.)

I'm certain someone has done a study on interracial couples and I would bet it's on the rise. I would bet there's also been an increase in interethnic (is that a word?) couples, ie, Asians dating other Asians of a different ethnicity.

BTW, we have some interesting data on the dating habits of Asian Americans in the new issue of Hyphen. When we conducted our own study on dating and sex, we found that 35 percent of thsoe reponding tended to date other Asian Americans, 30 percent had no preference for any ethnicity, and of those who did have a preference for a specific ethnicity or race, the majority of those -- 21 percent -- opted mostly for whites. (Only 1 percent each had a thing for African Americans or Latinos). Which brings us back to the question in this thread. Why white?

Why white? Because we live in a white male supremacy.

Kai Chang, it is a white male dominated society from an economic and political standpoint, but I think Melissa's question (Why White) leads back to 'why are Asians - and most notably and predominantly Asian women - so much, much, much more inclined to date\mate Whites at the near exclusion of all other 'non-Asian' catagories. This becomes especially confusing when you hear relatively widespread complaints about the 'white male hegemony' as a negative thing. See, it seems people are grumpy about white men 'running tings' but then go out and marry them anyway. Things that make you go 'hmmm'? I've heard comments that call Asians 'honorary white people' or at least the allegation that some Asians think of themselves that way. Is this 'out marrying' thing an indication of that? If so, why and why with women and not men?

Seriously George and Phil U,

You guys got to stop whining. I apologize for being blunt. I made that first statement because I’ve read all of your comments and came to realization that you guys constructed your own miseries. What I mean is that you guys got hurt once (by white girls, Asian girls, or society in general) and then found ways to justify staying hurt. An example is when one of you said that Asian men are at the bottom of the totem pole because you couldn’t get a decent Asian girl (or a decent white girl) to f*ck [which is your own limiting belief that caused you guys perpetual hurt], and that girls (particularly Asian girls, relating to the thread’s subject) choose white guys; this was based on, I’m assuming, the former inabilities to lead and retain normal relationships with Asian and/or white girls [your temporary hurt]. My point is: don’t keep yourself down, guys, if you think that the society hates Asian guys then you’ll walk around wounded and then everyone (including the girls in our race) would think lowly of you. Walk straight up and “smile, and the world will smile with you.” I’m talking from experience guys.

I was a limping Asian dude UNTIL I started thinking that I needed to IMPROVE MYSELF, instead of beating myself down. And guess what? I met lots of hot white girls and girls of other ethnic groups who thought and still think that being with me and around me is “a step up,” and not “a step down” as what someone in your mind frame might think. How did I meet them? By doing activities (hobbies, etc.) that I enjoying doing and they happened to be there, not by chasing them down the street like a dirty pervert or leering at them from afar.

Oh, and all my serious relationships happened to be with petite blondes. But I also love Asian girls. And for some reason they love me back. That “some reason” is that THEY FELT PLEASURE AROUND ME BECAUSE I MADE THEM COMFORTABLE… BY BEING COMFORTABLE WITH MYSELF. I remember this gorgeous, sensual Filipina-cross-Chinese girl. I met her in only two months and we instantly became extremely close with each other. I hung out with her, a lot, but not on this one occasion-- I had a friend come hang out with me at the local Barnes & Noble café; he was Asian as well. He rushed to the café table and told me that he saw a hot Asian girl who was dressed in flirty, really short shorts, and a tight v-neck vintage t-shirt in the B&N book area, when he came in. It was her, my female friend; she was in this big bookstore and I must have not seen her. I didn’t plan on her being there.

In the café chair he told me that he wanted to bone her. He didn’t know her (*he also didn’t know that she was a very close friend of mine). I thought that it would be interesting to see how he would act on his comment to me about boning her, so I encouraged him to go walk to the book display, where she was standing, and talk to her, and get her to come over or whatever. He said, “No way.” He was intimidated by her “healthy” appearance. Plus, he saw her talking to a white guy earlier-- he told me that. He instantly thought that this hot Asian girl would never be seen dead with an Asian guy (he assumed wrong; she and I hung out a lot and spend lots of time at each other’s place. And that mentality stopped him from meeting her. It also caused him to immediately act depressed. I was not amused at his self-defeating attitude. “If he didn’t have the balls to want to met that Asian girl, my close friend, then why would I call her over to sit down with us,” I thought to myself. So when she walked towards the door to leave the bookstore, I hid my face behind a magazine I was reading because I didn’t want her to come over to the café table if she saw me. [Side note: if my guy friend actually went up to talk to her, I would immediately wave to her and get her and him to sit down together with me at the café table. From that common ground, they would probably be in the sack together after a couple of dates. But it didn’t happened. By the way, I didn’t want to date her myself because I was enjoying free time for myself. I recently stop dating three girls that I was non-exclusively being with. (Not at the same time, you pervert.)]

The moral of the story is… don’t assume that it’s the girl’s fault (believing that she doesn’t like to be around Asian guys or date Asian guys) that you, an Asian guy, didn’t talk to the girl, but instead realize that everything is within your realm to make real.

Man, that was wordy. Wasn’t it? Okay, in shorthand: Stop screwing yourselves over with that head of yours, and start screwing girls with that “head” of yours.

would be to 'screw' women? Not get to know them, but just screw them. hmmmm.
you are 'smooth like butter', buddy.

I am a chinese girl and I am dating an indian guy. I never hear about asians and indians, although indian is technically asian. Does society look down on this? Do I even need to be concerned with what others think?

well Tami, one reason you might never (or rarely) hear about your type of pairing is becasue it is rare. Or so the posts on the subject would indicate. But I don't know, I don't take polls or surveys on the matter.

More importantly, do you like/love your 'significant other'? does the idea of people looking 'down' on your relationship trouble you? by the converse, does the idea that people might look 'up' to you because of a different relationship appeal to you? What 'society' are you looking to for validation? White people? Chinese people? Indian people? Short people? (maybe it would be easier to get them to look up!)

And what does 'technically asian' mean?? Is there some litmus test? Some standard unit of measure for 'asian-ness'? Help me out here.

'Are you a bitter asian man' The answer is yes. Too much competition and too few asian women. I admit that during my time in the U.K. I have never dated a asian girl and Im 35 years old.

'Down with white culture and racist bigots'

People that exist in one society have general belief, which can be different to another society because it is a totally different culture. This is evident in other ethnic minorities e.g. black that co-exist with whites, etc because they believe in the exact stereotypes as each other. Generally it is considered that social groups often have the same or about the same opinions as each other. Stereotypes do not operate within a distinct group but in the culture that they in. These are set by media and social group representation, and generalisation stereotypes of other minorities.

Most perpetrators of racism are mostly directed by whites against A/M from both sexes. While racism towards A/F, is few or none at all compared to the A/M. A/M will suffer the bluntest and direct form of racism. It is also the sole reason why there are relatively few white females that like A/M and why there is so many W/M, A/F pairings. Most A/F do not take this to account. A/M have to scacrifice and suffer, so that love between a A/F to a white male. Who is obvious ignorant of the racism directed towards their own men.

Most asian men who read these sites are angry that their own women are running off with white men. They cannot accept that their own women or sisters prefer white culture to there own, when this culture has been a major factor and played a pivotal part directly against the Asian culture but especially against Asian men. A/F who date outside their race particular whites don’t really care about racial factor they only care about what happens in real life or from there experience and this has shown that the whites treat them better or even better than A/M, based on the stereotypes, which is why most don’t care or even bother with racial stereotypical factors because benefits them. The stereotypes have prevented a lot of good Asian men from getting girlfriends, who try extremely hard not to go down the stereotypical path that most white people would believe, and thus the Asian male suffer from the same stereotypical views by the A/F brought up in a white culture or by their own women and also by the whites. They are angry because white culture has treated them badly, opposed to A/F who do not seem to understand or care the racial factors that are involved and how important they are.

I can relate to the bitter asian male, because I am one of them. When asian women talk down about Asian culture and uplift white American culture, it disturbs me.



I think there are a number of factors that contribute to that:




1) Asian culture tends to be male dominant. Women are looked down upon and raised to be submissive. Western culture, however, recognizes more freedom and rights towards women.



2) Asians pose the strongest threat to whites. Asians in America make just as much money, go to the top universities, and are sucessful. Being a strong threat, white culture has to belittle us, to still feel dominant. Examples, are asian men are too nerdy, or they have small penises, or they are not athletic or sexual.



3)Western culture is deeply ingrown in asian culture. Even though many of our parents abide by traditions, western culture has its influence. Popular example, is how parents favor light skin children. Even worst, saying that marrying a white american will give beautiful grandchildren. Substitute the same sentence with african american and you know what the parents will say.



Now when i hear asian women degrade their own culture, I tell them: Your even more Asian because you would rather embrace the White western culture than empower your own. I am still a bitter asian male, but knowing that I am not alone, gives sweet hope.

Seven Years in Tibet was a sweet movie. Asians love me.

? ? ? ? ? ? ?!

to all asians:

don't let people use you (especially the whites). asian culture will always be dominated by whites. that's why we're the only group of people who are targeted, and not others. i really, really, really h8 that enormously. we're not special people. in fact, no one is. you also can't change your race. you are who you are.

comment deleted for utterly, inexcusably racist content (seriously folks, don't do it.)

comment deleted for utterly, inexcusably racist content (seriously folks, don't do it.)

Ugh. keep your misogyny to yourself.

comment deleted for utterly, inexcusably racist content (seriously folks, don't do it.)

you know who i don't like? you, aznivr69.

it's one thing to praise asian women. another to degrade other kinds of women.

this discussion is disgusting, we should proper ourselves in other ways, we should find strength in ourselves. We won the korean war, half of japanese empire has been cut up and given to us for peaceful resolution of WW2. We are not happy, we shouldnt be happy we must aid those who are beneficial to us, for example the al qaida.

you guys worship Caucasions?

I would really like to applaud this blog. A lot of genuine points being made. I'm a white male who grew up In and all black town. I am also first generation american. I feel like somehow because of this I have a kinship with asian men. I kind of understand their anger. White men say the same thing around here. I think in the end asian men get screwed by the numbers. If an insignificant amount of white men date asian women, because of the population differences you get hit waaay harder. Some of those guys have fetishes (a lot of them are fascinated with asian culture in general so it applies), but not all of them. I think if it's a situation where the asian partner was adopted or in an area where they are the only asian then it's prbly true love on the white persons side. Maybe on the asian partners side it could be a subconcious longing for full acceptance. These people also have based their whole lives around a white pop. so that's how they norm their standards. In the end it's a tough situation you guys are in, I can only say it'll get better for you in the next couple of years. As for white women who date non white men but not asian men, I would say from growing up in the community that I did, a lot of them are rebelling against their dad or responding to what they define as hip on mtv. Asian men are so close to white, they're just not rebellious enough. This is all based on women under the age of 19 so they aren't making mature decisions about relationship, so take my observations with a grain of salt.

Single Asian Man seeks Asian woman who is through with getting fucked by white men.

woo Strongyyellow woman, strong comment, but im a big fan of Muhammad Ali. He was the best, and an example to all who can relate not falling for that mainstream trap. Al Queda well thats to extreme.

I'm a white female and I am really attracted to asian men, I understand that there may not be a lot of girl out there like me, but there are people out here how like asian men. I tend to feel the same of what you are saying here. I mostly see Asian men with Asian women and I feel really intimidated to go up to an Asian guy and talk to him, because I'm afraid he might think me some awkward American girl or something like that.

As for "fetish", I feel that refers to mainly just sexual things or pleasurable things in general, so I wouldn't really use it unless I was describing a girl that wanted to get it on with only asian men, or something. As many people have stated, people are sometimes more attracted to one race, just based on their own preferences than others. I happen to like guys with dark hair and dark eyes and a bit shorter than most, and Asians fit into that category.

I really think that Asian men should feel comfortable asking a Caucasian, Latino, African American, or any race out there. If a girl rejects you because of your race, it's because the girl is either an idiot, superficial, a racist, a combination of these or all of the above. So please, if you like a girl of a different race, don't feel afraid that she might not like you because you aren't blue eyed and blonde and might be a bit shorter than most American men. That's selling yourself really short.

I do also think that a lot of asian men, especially men that have recently come over don't tend to marry or date American women because of cultural standards back in their home countries. Obviously, most Asian countries consider the man as the held of the family and that's a fact that we can't get around. Sometimes it's hard for them to get over these cultural differences, but also I think they might stereotype foreign women as all being head-strong, domineering, controlling people, which not all of us are.

(But I'm sure most of the people here have lived here most of their lives or a large part of it and have adjusted quite a bit to the American culture.)

It has been suggested that Asian women date white men because it is a bump up in status. I am Indian (South Asian) and I have to say that is completely false where it relates to South Asians. I have a few relatives that married white people and they are basically outcasts with regard to our community. In American society I can see that it would make life easier with respect to day-to-day life. I've noticed that I get better treatment at resteraunts, grocery stores, shopping malls and even when I am using public transportation when I am out with my white friends as opposed to by myself or with my east and south asian friends. It can be hurtful to have people glare at you with unfriendly stares and sometimes people can make comments that make you feel horrible. It is understandable that girls would want to be with white guys, consciously or subconsciously, as a sort of defense mechanism rather than a status thing.

Well, hmmmmm, judging from DR's comment, the South Asian/Indian, I suggest you take a gooood look around; not only is it IN FACT considered by most asian men of all stripe a "trophy" to nab a white woman, be she of Latina or Caucasian background, but quiiiite a few do marry them: I know, sweety, because I am in fact one. And most of the Gujrati Indian females here in Latinamerica are green with envy, they are the nastiest and most spiteful lot I and many of my non-asian gf have ever ever come across.
More and more Pakistanis(like my hubby of 15 years)and Indians are choosing western women over their narrow-minded ignorant and thus booooring so-called "Desi" women; except for the few here who are getting educated, going out in the world, lightening up about society in general and learning not to fall into the whole bitchy female Indian culture. They become just the same as their own saas(mom-in-lwas) if not....bitter, and alone emotionally. Just ask my hubby Shawkat Ali and his friends why they prefer western women!!

Dawn,
i don't know where DR is, but if you are in South or Central America and he is North America or India for that matter, there are very different racial dynamics between the locations, so you might be coming from a completely different frame of reference on that point. AND I think you have completely flipped the gender script from DR. You seem to be talking Asian man/ white woman and DR was talking asian women/white men.

it would not be suprising to me that asian women could hate the idea that an asian man is with a white woman but not hate the idea of an asian women being with a white man. the former creates a sense of rejection by the one who is supposed to love you; the latter may create a sense of elevated stature because the 'dominant male' has selected her above all others (fueling a sense of superiority).

what happens when you thow those details into your mix?

Right...I am from Australia (dark deatures - white skin) - and recently I was accepted to the top school in Sydney - and it is FULL of Asians. I am a white and I am madly in love with a guy from Singapore...we shared a special moment last year...anyways now that we see each other everyday day at school - he acts as though we shared nothing...like he is ashamed or something. He is tall and athletic plus smart. I am tall, state debater, footballer and I am told that I am attractive (though I don't see it)...sounds like we would make the perfect couple?? WRONG!! Now that I see his social group, he only talks to asians...yes, that means he only seems to show an interest in asian girls (or maybe that due to the fact that there is only asians to talk to...u can count the number of non-asians on your hand)...what should i do?? Please note that prior to this attraction, I used to think alll asians looked the same and would NEVER consider dating an asian...man have I changed!!

Aussie girl, that is one man, so don't think that all Asian men are exactly like him! I'm sure that there are some asians at the school that don't just hang out with each other.

As for relationship advice.. I don't think this is the best place to ask for it necessarily.

I think Aussie girl situation
provides us with a real life
example of how Asian men will
not date outside of their race.

Growing up Asian, my mother would
relentlessly repeat the dictum
not to date girls that are not
1) Chinese or 2) Christian.
Furthermore, even if they are Chinese
they should not be from China..
I dunno how she feels about HK, but
I assume that means only Asian
American women or Taiwanese women.
Or maybe some Chinese from the
Diaspora.

That being said, I do find myself
attracted to women of other races,
whether one would actually date
me is an entirely different issue..
but it's all a number's game. I'm
bound to find one that can see
past skin color, since my own
values probably aren't too much
different from her own:
self-serving and successful.

I think my experience is emblematic
of most conservative, 2 countries
and 50 years separated from
confusciasm, republican for the money,
with a smidgeon of Christian ethos
Asian culture. Of course everyone
deviates.. but i think the experience
is the same.

We want to date outside
our race, but because we are all
so subconsciously conformist, we
fear the repercussions or maybe there just isn't any real world examples of Asian mean dating outside their own race.. maybe except by these messiahs
on the internet..

Deep down we want to recreate the
stable family image we ourselves
may have experienced. Support
our parents, have children
that are good at whatever they
want to pursue, doesn't matter
so much if the firstborne is a son,
or if it's two daughters..
As Asian american men, we are a culture
who's values as a whole are changing.

I'm sorry to Aussie girl for being
one of those Asian men who could
not escape his cultural identity,
and honestly u shouldn't waste your
time with guys like us and look
for someone more accepting,whether
he's white or some inferior color.
Looks really aren't all the important anyway.

He'd probably just brag to his friends
how he got a white girl anyway.

To Dawn Marie-Ali: Ive been all over the Pacific and if I had to choose between Western, and Eastern, Ill pick Eastern Women any day. Theres really nothing special about Western Women. Ive been to India, Malaysia, and Singapore. Large Indian populations, Indian woman along with Spanish woman are the best in the World.

To keiriruisu:
I am truly sorry, I did not mean to use this site as a means to use and abuse when I requested advice…I guess I meant it to be a rhetorical-like question. And concerning your response, yes it is true that there are other Asians (a very small minority) who do seem to enjoy the companion of non-Asians…however it is not the same, these are non-Asians males with Asian females. Perhaps I did not make myself clear (I probably sounded too dramatic), when I wrote “FULL of Asians”…that is what I meant – need proof?? Well this year seven, out of 150 students that are enrolled, ALL of them are Asians (NB I am including Indians in this statistic – however, the majority are of Asian heredity). Please do not form the wrong idea of Australia, this is the first time ever that this enrolment figure has occurred also you must keep in mind that this school is the top school in Sydney (I think in Australia as well) academically thus subsequently it would have a lot of Asians (no offense, but Asians are placed under a lot of pressure from the word go…).

To jimshi:
I would firstly like to point out that you sound very educated and thus I consider your words very valuable. About Christianity being important, we met at a Christian camp…thus we have one VERY important thing in common. He is not one to ‘brag’ (that term is not used here much in Australia – I have only stumbled across it in American novels and movies), yes he does enjoy the attention of others, yet I am sure he would not exploit the situation and ‘brag’. He still has strong ties with his culture, yet seems to have really adjusted to the Australian culture (he was born here) as well; I could even go as far as saying ‘mastering it’. However the same cannot be said about his parents and older sisters (who have married Asians). May I ask you a question (anyone else can feel free to respond as well) – why did you write… “He’d probably just brag to his friends how he got a white girl anyway”…I mean what is there to ‘brag’ about? Do Asians assume that ‘white-girls’ (NB yes I am white, however my eye and hair features are dark and due to my exposure to the sun I am relatively tanned – or am I taken that too literal??) are more superior than ‘asian-girls’ – why?? I mean asian girls are thin with straight silky hair (in most circumstances)…thus it cannot be a physical barrier, what else??

NB Prior to meeting him, I was with a British for 2-3 year, I broke up with him because I honestly shared a real innocent yet beautiful moment with the Asian – as a result the British had a nervous break down. It was not a physical attraction to the Asian (as opposed to the British) but a spiritual and internal attraction, so please do not create the wrong impression of me (after all, if feels as though I am representing Australia girls and the Australia Asian men on this blog…LOL)

Oh and another thing, you Americans are really fast in replying…I am truly impressed!!

To keiriruisu:
I am truly sorry, I did not mean to use this site as a means to use and abuse when I requested advice…I guess I meant it to be a rhetorical-like question. And concerning your response, yes it is true that there are other Asians (a very small minority) who do seem to enjoy the companion of non-Asians…however it is not the same, these are non-Asians males with Asian females. Perhaps I did not make myself clear (I probably sounded too dramatic), when I wrote “FULL of Asians”…that is what I meant – need proof?? Well this year seven, out of 150 students that are enrolled, ALL of them are Asians (NB I am including Indians in this statistic – however, the majority are of Asian heredity). Please do not form the wrong idea of Australia, this is the first time ever that this enrolment figure has occurred also you must keep in mind that this school is the top school in Sydney (I think in Australia as well) academically thus subsequently it would have a lot of Asians (no offense, but Asians are placed under a lot of pressure from the word go…).

To jimshi:
I would firstly like to point out that you sound very educated and thus I consider your words very valuable. About Christianity being important, we met at a Christian camp…thus we have one VERY important thing in common. He is not one to ‘brag’ (that term is not used here much in Australia – I have only stumbled across it in American novels and movies), yes he does enjoy the attention of others, yet I am sure he would not exploit the situation and ‘brag’. He still has strong ties with his culture, yet seems to have really adjusted to the Australian culture (he was born here) as well; I could even go as far as saying ‘mastering it’. However the same cannot be said about his parents and older sisters (who have married Asians). May I ask you a question (anyone else can feel free to respond as well) – why did you write… “He’d probably just brag to his friends how he got a white girl anyway”…I mean what is there to ‘brag’ about? Do Asians assume that ‘white-girls’ (NB yes I am white, however my eye and hair features are dark and due to my exposure to the sun I am relatively tanned – or am I taken that too literal??) are more superior than ‘asian-girls’ – why?? I mean asian girls are thin with straight silky hair (in most circumstances)…thus it cannot be a physical barrier, what else??

NB Prior to meeting him, I was with a British for 2-3 year, I broke up with him because I honestly shared a real innocent yet beautiful moment with the Asian – as a result the British had a nervous break down. It was not a physical attraction to the Asian (as opposed to the British) but a spiritual and internal attraction, so please do not create the wrong impression of me (after all, if feels as though I am representing Australia girls and the Australia Asian men on this blog…LOL)

Oh and another thing, you Americans are really fast in replying…I am truly impressed!!

WHOOPS - I accidently sent it twice!!

Aussie Girl, hey, I didn't mean any offence, I was just trying to point out that maybe if you wanted real advice about it you might not be able to find it here, hehe.

As for jimshi, I feel really bad that you feel as though you can't "escape your cultural identity". I realize it's a big issue to marry someone of a different race in a lot of Asian families. I've never personally had my parents say I couldn't date/marry a specific race, so I don't really know what that's like. I didn't think there was THAT much pressure to marry within your specific race/religion. I almost want to say, "get over it, you are an adult and can make your own decisions" easily, because I've had disagreements about my future/life with my parents, but I've never had them tell me I had to do something like that, so I know that I might do just as you are now. I can tell that you obviously value your family, and it would be a big choice to do something you know they would dissaprove of. Maybe your mother could change her mind sometime, maybe after seeing a successful relationship between a Chinese and non-Chinese person.. I don't know. It just seems really sad that you can't date/marry people like that because you don't want to dissapoint your mother. But good luck, either way, ne?

I stumbled upon this website by accident and found myself very interested in what everyone has had to say.
As a white woman, I find it difficult to listen to talk of white women as being thought of as the 'gold standard'. I certainly think the media and the (unfair) power distributions in this country over the ages have done more than their share in perpetuating white women as the 'ideal'. Personally, this makes me extremely uncomfortable & I hope it changes. I don't want someone dating me for my whiteness, as if I'm a trophy, anymore than an Asian-American male would want to be rejected solely due to his ethnicity.
That said, I recently ended a relationship was with a Filipino-American man. He was my first 'serious' interracial dating experience. I reluctantly admit that in the beginning, I had to deal with subconsciously internalized stereotypes associated w/ asian males & sexuality. I liked him, we got along great, had tons in common, but I was starting to think of him in non-sexual terms only. I challenged my newly unhidden stereotypes. (There is nothing more unpleasant for a liberal white feminist to discover she has (EEK!) somehow developed and not yet overcame some stereotypical thought pattern!) I gave this guy a second chance and was pleasantly surprised.
I also admit that following our relationship, when I see an attractive asian male, I do often give him a second look. Have I developed a fetish? No. I'm simply more open to my dating possiblities. Would I date another asian-american man? Yes, just as I would date any other race/ethnicity. If anything, I'm a little turned off by white men as of late because many (w/o being too stereotypical!) seem ambivalent to their white male privelege, which, frankly, is a turn-off.
These are just the experiences & opinions of one German-Czech-Scottish-English-French-
American (aka Caucasian) woman...hopefully this helps :)

Aussie Girl:

Move on, you are young and really havent experienced anything in life yet. This is just some school girl crush. They come and they go. You will fall in and out of love a million times before you find your true love. Your still in High School for crying out loud. This is from a wise man. Just enjoy life, meet new friends and look for a new memories.

White Girl:

Do white Woman really think they are trophies? What is dating someone for their whiteness?. Just curious, Im a different type of Asian. Im against things that are mainstream. Im not attracted to White Women So im curious.

To relax:

‘Move on’ – that is great, but I have a problem…you see NOT only is my school filled with Asians…but also my church is an Asian-church (I have attended it for a year now, my Asian scripture teacher invited me and I been there since)…thus what if the next guy is an Asian…I mean can you truly blame me if it was considering my circumstance?? And about this being some ‘school-girl crush’ I am not that young (I will be an adult next year – oh, here in Australia to be 18 entitles you to have the same responsibilities and privileges as adults) AND this attraction to him has stretched over a year now…doesn’t sound so much like ‘some girl crush’ to me. However, I appreciate the time you have allocated to respond to my desperate blog, I hope I am not intruding – after all I am not American, I am not an Asian and I am not a man.

Aussie Girl:

I work in the travel buisness. Ive been to Sydney on numerous occasions and due to go there soon. The point im making is it doesnt matter if you are Aussie, American, Asian, or man. To me Australians were just funny speaking Americans that play a dumb sport called Rugby. You sound like my 17 year old niece. You have a School Girl crush on someone that obviously dont feel the same about you. You can either move on, or be second best. Why do women love to have things they cannot have?

To Anonymous –

‘Australians were just funny speaking Americans that play a dumb sport called Rugby’ – to make such a poor generalized comment about Australians makes me strongly doubt what u have to say (sorry if I sound very judgmental) – however your response to ‘Why do women love to have things they cannot have’ well it is simply because it is exciting, it gives us something to dress up for, something to dream about – thus it add sparks to our lives; we now have a mission: to get what we want. Oh what, something just click – perhaps I am really attracted to the Asian (I should use a different name…) because he seems not to show an attraction in return (NB I would not have a crush on him if I did not think I had a chance – I can tell there is something from last year’s moment that is still there) – thus I find him exciting – could that be it? Oh and another thing, when u wrote that ‘you sound like my 17 year old niece’ that hurt – it makes me sound inferior, somewhat child-like – you broadcast this comparison in a negative light.

Whoops – I am not really contributing to this discussion – I promise I will try in the future

Aussie Girl:

Im just going to be blunt. Its appears to be over. He has moved on and so should you. You cant force someone to be with you. You are young. You will meet other interesting men in the future. Give it a chance, in time all your wounds will heal, trust me. Enjoy your life why you can. I wish I was 18 years old. The worse thing you can do to a man is stroke his eggo, Dont do that. Why make someone feel more important than what they are. Also, its time to play games, when men know a woman is love sick over him. We like to play games with their hearts, well because what ever we do we know the woman will justify her luv by excusing stupidy. Which is what you are doing. Well you are headed for a wreck. This is just one of those lessons that you will learn. We do not have the answers for you, time does. By the way, is his girlfriend cute? The one he dumped you for?

To Han:

No. White women in general do not think of themselves as "trophies". I think you misunderstood my comments. I do, however, believe most of us recognize that a white standard of beauty IS what mainstream culture has perpetuated & that we, as white women, benefit from this to to some degree (unfair as it may be). As stated previously, I do not want to be equated with the 'gold standard' in dating based solely on my whiteness (see previous entries by other folks)-- this is what I'm referring to by someone 'dating me for my whiteness'. Hope this clarifies matters...

Aussie girl:

I said he might brag to his friends,
because deep down in every Asian
guy, and every man or woman,
is the need to proprogate his genetic
line or feed the ego. Anyone who tells
you differently is 1 of 3 things:

1)an overidealized virgin
2)a liar
3)so enlightened we should worship him

Now from your own comments, you
say he enjoys the attention. Every
guy enjoys attention from women.
It gives them a sense of power and
confidence. Why else do men flirt
with women they are not attracted,
and vice versa.

A boy of his 'excellence' probably has
nothing to gain except more ego from
your attention. it becomes a source
of pride, especially if he is as
perfect as you make him sound. And
pride does not exist in vacuum. it is
constantly fed by other people and in
comparison to other people.

SO i say that he brags to his friends,
perhaps not in an explicit sense -
"i banged that chick", but as a woman,
are giving him attention and that
gives him status over his buddies.
A small ego-boost, self-bragging,
self-assurance -- sort of
narcissism. Being a differnet
race is just icing
on the cake. It'd be the same
if you were black, mexican, indian,
etc. Although White being the more
desired or GOld standard, it's like
getting headhunted by Google or Microsoft as opposed to some
no name brand.

I honestly believe you should
just ask this guy out and see what he
does. Fate favors the bold. A man
who won't date outside his race,
is unlikely to take the first step.
If you really like this guy, you need
to take control.

It's a huge ego risk, but honestly,
it saves you time and the pain
you feel now will be better than
the unresolved obsession afterward.

Anyway.. who knows if I'm right,
you'll never know til you ask the
guy out and see what's he all about.

Friendship is always a better
alternative and a more accessible step,
to starting a relationship.
But that's just my own philisophy,
and a whole new debate on its own.

To Relax:
Thanks for being blunt, I am blunt myself (although I sometimes try so hard not to reveal it) plus I value your honesty…however the thing is, he has NOT moved on, he has NO girlfriend. Thus your words: “By the way, is his girlfriend cute? The one he dumped you for?” makes NO SENSE – perhaps you have misread my previous blogs (which is understandable – I don’t think I express myself as clearly as the others). He showed a genuine interest in me, going so far as to half-asking me out – yet I rejected him on the basis that I did not know him that well, now that I do, I strongly regret my decision. Thus when you wrote: “Its appears to be over. He has moved on and so should you” is contradictory – I honestly do not believe he has (I am not desperate – just yesterday some moronic Aussie loser asked me out) – this has been concluded due to small things, whether it was a quick look, a blush, a smile…there is something there. Yet, I strongly believe he is too influenced by his parents to act out again (perhaps he knows this time I will say yes). Plus I do not “stroke his ego” – he has an idea that I am attracted to him, yet I does not know the extent of it. He has no idea how I truly feel for him.

To jimshi:
Again I am truly impressed by your words. However, I think everyone has misunderstood me. When I first met him, I called him by his wrong name, I considered him to be slightly unfit and unattractive – the only thing that stood out about him was the school that he had attended. Thus as a result, I don’t believe that he get much attention from the opposite sex, regardless of their nationality. However I now see him in a different light – and kick myself for not grabbing the opportunity first time round. About asking him out, while he is know in year twelve, HSC year – there is no time for things like that. Plus, he wants to become a doctor, thus the chance of him boarding elsewhere for the next six to seven years is high…but my question is now, what if the next guy is Asian? (this is a rhetorical question)
I must apologize to all out there – especially to you jimshi – I sound arrogant and childish and I am not contributing anything worthwhile – I don’t understand why you Americans bother with me, but don’t get me wrong, I am grateful. It feels good to share the burden with others – especially when those others are intelligent and realistic.

RELAX- Wow. Way to be stereotypical, arrogant, and superficial all at the same time. That takes a lot!

To say that all Australians are "just funny speaking Americans that play a dumb sport called Rugby" and that she is "like [your] 17 year old niece" is just plain rude and ignorant. Not to mention you are stereotyping all men as guys who go around "play[ing] games with [girl's] hearts". Maybe you are a jerk like that, but I know most men (men being the operative word) are like that. You are obviously immature, no matter how old you might be, because mature, adult men don't go around insulting younger women and calling them a "school girl". If anyone sounds like a high school student, in my opinion, it would be you.

As for what White Girl was talking about..

I'd never personally felt like a "gold-standard" until I traveled outside to Mexico. Even when I'd been to European countries like Italy, Germany, and others, I never really felt like people thought I was better than everyone else. I got some stares, but nothing too out of the ordinary. When I went to Mexico on the otherhand, I was called "pretty lady" and "nice girl" and those sorts of things from vendors and people in general. It was really uncomfortable, because I was constantly offered favors and lower prices and I felt really awful about it. I've yet to be to an Asian country (but I'm going to Japan this summer!) and I know that I will stand out, but I'm hoping it won't be like that. I suppose that white women really are the "gold-standard" to some people, but I'd rather be viewed as just a person, not necessarily by race, you know? In America, I don't really see many people who belong to minority races dating white women only because they are white, but I'm sure it's happening out there a lot more than I realize. But I completely agree that I personally don't want to be seen as some kind of "trophy".

Aussie Girl, keiriruisu: I was also the anonymous person. Dont take the Rugby joke so seriously. When I visited Australia on a buisness trip they made fun of my accent and American Football for days. I really never heard the end of it. As you Aussies say,"No Worries Mate" it was all in good fun. Also, im not going to try to understand this realationship you are going through, so ill just say this. If its meant to be then it will happen, if not then it will fail. You two will either hit, or miss, good luck. keiriruisu, I left Japan about a month ago, My best friend and Co-Worker is Japanese. I had a great time. I luv Japan, I want to move there. Try to decipher this. ANATA WA ITSU NIHON NI KIMASUKA. What month? A little Japanese before you go.One of my CO-Worker is a Peruvian female. She is probably the most beautiful woman ive ever seen. When we were in Japan recently many rich Japanese buisness men adored her, bought all our drinks because they wanted to get close to her. So to Han And White Girl, beauty is just beauty. If my Co-Worker is going to get me free drinks then she is more than welcommed to come with me on every outting.

Aussie Girl, keiriruisu: I was also the anonymous person. Dont take the Rugby joke so seriously. When I visited Australia on a buisness trip they made fun of my accent and American Football for days. I really never heard the end of it. As you Aussies say,"No Worries Mate" it was all in good fun. Also, im not going to try to understand this realationship you are going through, so ill just say this. If its meant to be then it will happen, if not then it will fail. You two will either hit, or miss, good luck. keiriruisu, I left Japan about a month ago, My best friend and Co-Worker is Japanese. I had a great time. I luv Japan, I want to move there. Try to decipher this. ANATA WA ITSU NIHON NI KIMASUKA. What month? A little Japanese before you go.One of my CO-Worker is a Peruvian female. She is probably the most beautiful woman ive ever seen. When we were in Japan recently many rich Japanese buisness men adored her, bought all our drinks because they wanted to get close to her. So to Han And White Girl, beauty is just beauty. If my Co-Worker is going to get me free drinks then she is more than welcommed to come with me on every outting.

To Anonymous/Relax:
I am over the rugby joke (I guess it hit close to home because I play at state level) – Aussies love impersonating and teasing the American accent – to us, it is hilarious, we found Americans entertaining and absolutely adore their accents – here in Australia WE LOVE OUR FOOTBALL – we love wearing our footy colours as we parade the streets and cheer for our teams…so be careful what you say. As for ‘no worries mate’ – I could not have summed it up better myself! I am not asking you to understand my relationship (if that is the right word) I am merely interested in the reasons why Asian men are reluctant to accept white women. I agree with your advice, if it is meant to be it will happen (I keep you posted if I ever have enough courage to ask him out).
Cheers.

I guess you will have to ask those Asian Men that date White Women? Me and my friends prefer our Asian Women. Im Half Asian, but I prefer Asian Women. So I cant help you there. Americans Love football,I personally prefer Basball and Basketball, So imagining me bitting my tongue the whole time I was there. Well ofciurse, all english speaking countries adore us, Americans are cool. I guess if you want to find out ask him, get on with it. All he can say is either "no", or "yes". If its yes great, "no" then move on. Good Luck, or Cheers.

To RELAX:

Out of curiousity...what is your other half?
Does that mean you will never consider a white women??
PS I am sending this at tenish at night - thus it is NOT early in the morning as it may seem to you Americans

Aussie Girl;

nihon jin desuka, My other half is not Caucasion if thats what you want to know. White Girls are OK, I guess. Im not necessarily looking at the color of ones race. If its beauty I think Asian women are the best,Along with Hispanic Women. Trying to date a White girl is not high on my list. Ill consider dating anyone if they are right for me.

To RELAX:

Do u ever sleep! I mean you call urself 'RELAX" perhaps u should take ur own advice.

Sorry - I have been deprieved of my sleep - the above message was from me...it looks as though u are telling urself to relax hehehe

Aussie girl:

nihon jin desuka means i'm japanese. haha even tho you prob already figured it out. this comment may sound outdated but i just wanted to say : "relax" obviously has forgotten how it is to have a crush...sure you could get over it but it's not going to happen like *that*.

wait..if there's a ka then is this person questioning whether he's japanese?

SI.c

Good Observation, typo. wrote to fast. Still learning Japanese. That is a kindergarten typo.

Relax- 6? ? ?? ? ????. ??? ? ????. ???, ? ? ?????. ??, ????? ??????. ^^ I don't know all that much, but I think I'll manage. I'm going with a bunch of fluent people as well, so it wont be too bad.

Anyway.. maybe we should get back to the real subject of why white women for the most part don't seem to like asian men and the like. We've sort of gotten off of the subject.

To Aussie girl, if you want advice from younger Aussies instead of these silly yanks- I mean Americans :P- give this forum a go.
http://community.boredofstudies.org/
Its for Australian (but mainly NSW) high school/uni students.

i apologise for intruding upon this forum and causing some distraction!
i am very interested by the opinions proposed here - i think that the fact "white women for the most part don't seem to like asian men" may stem from personal experiences, or the experiences of poeple they know. many relationships in which there is a mix of cultures, namely western/eastern, do not eventuate in a happily ever after ending (i know this is a very generalised comment). i have friends who are half asian half western, and whose parents are divorced. this may impact on people's views on relationships with someone of another culure.
i think it has been previously mentioned that the differences in culture affect relationships? this is very true - one cannot completey break away from the culture he/she has grown up with, and you have to make allowances order to have a relationship with someone of a different culture. so in the case of "white" women, they may think that (like aussie girl does)the differences would be an obstacle in a relationship; it would be better not to bother. a real life example of cultural barriers is demonstrated in the biography of Cun Xi Li, in "mao's last Dancer". Li marries a western lady but it ends in divorce due to the cultural barrier. however he remarries again, to another westerner, later on in his life. (what do you make of this?...open ended question up for discussion)

in the case of aussie girl, id like to know whether your guy has a girlfriend. obviously what happened "last year" was very special - otherwise you wouldn't be here talking about it still! perhaps, due to his hsc he feels that it's not the right time for a relationship...maybe until after the exams? and if he's surrounded by asians, it may be due to the fact that your school only has asians? it would be good to be direct and just ask him outright, but it would be awkward if you saw him again at school after a rejection. you're a bit unsure?...and of course there's always peer pressure...do not be afraid of people at your school not being able to understand the fact that a non asian is going out with an asian!

To lexor:

I am grateful for your generousity - but I have a problem...I am not sure where I am suppose to look: I clicked on your link, but I am lost from there...please, I am curious of what it has to say, can you fill in the blanks? I assume you too are an Aussie: well then
Fair dinkum mate

keiriruisu:

6???????????????????enjoy yourself when you go to Japan in June. Let us all know how you trip goes when you leave. Tommorrow I will be leaving to conduct training for my company overseas. Ill be gone for a month. I took a week off, but its time to go to work. Im sure my presence will be missed on this site. Aussie Girl, you are just going to have to go for it. I wish you guys learn what the meaning "Yankee" before you use it. Just because you are American doesnt classify a person as a "yank". Theres a History behind it, so reasearch it. Well Goodbye, see you all in a few months

To Si.c

Judging by the fact that you seem to know what the HSC means, I too am also going to assume that you are an Australian (please correct me if I am wrong). Concerning your question, NO he does not have a girlfriend – if he did I would not be attracted to him. I am the sort of girl that backs off once there is an official girl in his life: otherwise I would fell cheap, some-what second-hand like. I have also considered that maybe he does not want to pursue I relationship due to the pressures of the HSC, yet I believe that this is irrelevant. He is not a studious freak. He has a great social life. Thus there must be more to this than that.

You should not need to apologise: I was the one who provoked the distraction, thus I should be the one apologizing. I will try in the future to stick to the initial discussion. You wrote: “i am very interested by the opinions proposed here - i think that the fact "white women for the most part don't seem to like asian men" may stem from personal experiences” – does this mean that you have experienced this? Would you care to elaborate, I am sure I speak for many others when I write that it would serve as a good purpose to hear a real life example of this. And yes, I am aware that there are half Asians – half Caucasians in the world, however these people are a small minority (but it does go to prove that a relationship between the two races is possible), however the comment you made about these relationships not lasting is quite true. In order for a relationship to function properly, there needs to be an understanding of your partners culture (this include religion), their culture has affected the way they perceive life, shaping their attitude and values – thus if you cannot master this then you are heading for failure. BUT Asian men need to understand that white women are willing to adjust, we are willing to embrace changes if that means it would strengthen the relationship. I for one am happy to do this. However I will expect the same from him. It must be a two-way thing. Underneath it all, Asians and ‘whites’ are the same, we are all human: if we can’t see past the differences on the outside and see the true similarity in the inside then there is no hope. All it would do would serve as a barrier, a barrier to what could have been the relationship of a lifetime.

To RELAX:

When I read your last blog, I felt empty. I have grown attached to you – I really enjoy reading your entries (even when they are not addressed to me), why can’t you use the net at work? I mean, I am sure you would still have access to the net…right?? I am positive that I write on behalf on many when I say that your presence would truly be missed. I hope you get this in time!! Good luck with your work…perhaps you would meet somebody special, somebody who is not an Asian? LOL
Well I leave you to be.

Thanks for your patience and your 'blunt' words hehe

To lexor (provoked by RELAX):

I've beena good 'school-girl' (that was for you RELAX) and done my homework LOL

The origin of Yankee is a nickname that dates back to the 1680s. Perhaps because it was used as the name of pirates, the name Yankee came to be used as a term of contempt. The British were the first to call the Americans Yankees (1780s) – around the same time it has been abbreviated to Yanks. During the American Revolution, American soldiers adopted this term of derision as a term of national pride. Now the term carries less emotion – except of course to baseball fans!!

Lexor and Aussie Girl:

Well im packing to leave in about 6 hours, true, but not true. As you know there was a Civil War in America. The Union, against the Confederate States. The Mason Dixon Line seperated the North(Union) and the south(Confederates) from each other. The Southerners called the Union, or people North of the Mason Dixon Line Yankees. It use to be offnesive to call a southerner from the U. S. a Yankee, but I found out later the International world has its own interpretation. My mother was born on the Honshu Island of Japan and my father is from down south(U.S.). So im not a Yankee. O. K. Aussie Girl, for you I will find time on my busy Schedule to pop up an say hi. I will be in Honk Kong, Tokyo, Then to Brisbane. You Aussies are fun I guess.

To Lexor:
I have recently entered the link you posted and eventually gained access to the site you recommended. I was appalled. There was not one positive comment made about Asians: except for the one. However this was followed by many abusive comments made by others. The difference between the site you posted and this site here is mind blowing: for future advice Lexor DO NOT recommend a site again.

Hello, im in Tokyo again on buisness. So the Aussies were saying bad things about Asians on Lexor site. When I was there I heard some of their complaints. It appears some of the grypes were to many Asians are in the Sydney area. Some of those Aussies are not to Happy about that. They didnt know I was Asian because im mixed. I just love people for who they are. Dont you agree Aussie Girl?

To RELAX:

It is so great to have you join us again so soon! And yes, I TOTALLY agree with you. I mean, you cannot judge someone based on their appearance - this is is something they did not choose. However, I determine my opinions of someone based purely upon their character - something that they have control over! Asians did not choose to be Asians and Whites did not choose to be Whites. But you Lexor chose to be a jerk and you RELAX chose not to be. And to your response, yes here in Australia; specifically in Sydney there is prejudice towards Asians. There is a boy in my class who found out that I had a crush on an Asian - he response?? He wrote the 'average penis' sizes' of whites, Asians and and dark people. Obviously, according to him the whites were the leader by far. He tried to turn me off from Asians - pointing at all the negative aspects. As a result, I turned around and told him straight out what i thought about him and his 'statistics' - lets just say I don't think he will be talking to me anytime in the near future hehe.
Well, RELAX it was good hearing from you again. I hope you enjoy your stay in Tokyo - should be heaps of asians chics falling at your 'cool-American' feet LOL

I work for tsa and I see alot of asian women with white men. I notice both tend to have a condescending attitude toward black people, it's like , "we're on top of the food chain, you're not".

I didn't give my conclusion. If these relationships were so wholesome, why do they have to despise everybody else? I've seen this over and over again. Also, I've noticed some dark skinned women, who are of asian descent, sometimes east indian, really have to prove that their not a nigger. They have to display such a hostile attitude toward blacks to show they're not one of us. I have dated a girl from Laos, and two from the Philippines, but I'm content with black women who don't smoke crack. (smiles)

I know I'm just going to be attacked for posting this, because I know people don't want to discuss this type of thing honestly. If I'm ridducoulus, then it shouldn't bother you, but people get hostile when I bring this up, because they know there's more than some truth in it.

Where did all this come from? Well at least make some kind of sense when you speak nelson. Had a wonderful stay in Tokyo off to Hong Kong. Thanks Aussie Girl, How is your situation going?

To RELAX:

What! You are moving again…so soon! Gees, that is hectic, and you still find time to reply?! I know that you said your schedule would be busy, but this is just crazy! Well you asked about my situation – lets see: I will try to keep it brief (for your sake). Well to be honest, I am trying to ‘get over it’ (as you so ‘politely’ put it previously hehe) – but that is not going too well. I will tell myself that I am over it, yet I will see him and I know what I am saying is just wishful thinking on my behalf…I am hoping that what you said before would be true, that all I need is time (and you would think that a year would had been long enough!!) I guess my problem is that I cannot pin-point my attraction – thus I am not too sure how to ignore my feelings towards him…
Hong Kong hey…what…weren’t the women in Tokyo hot enough?? Hehehe (yeah – I know it is all ‘business’ work)
Well RELAX keep me updated on your social life – any special girls??

Come on! Some white girls dream of dating Jackie Chan or Jet Li or heroes in Dragon Ball Z.

I'm an Asian guy and I never date Asian girls coz they are not hot. My girlfriend's German and she doesn't care at all if I'm Asian or not. I dun understand why all Asian guys act like a bunch of women and try to kiss up to girlz to like them that doesn't work. Women are more into the big bad dangerous and mysterious type.

I'm an asian man, and personally I feel white girls do not like asian men because they are racist and don't find asian men attractive. I wouldn't waste my time with a white girl, other than maybe white midget girls or white blind girl. HA, HA , HA...

Im half Asian, but for some reason, I just do not go for Caucasion Women. I would date any woman given we enjoy eah other. I guess everyone has there own preference. I was always labelled different by my friends. To each his own. Can anyone in here give me the 5 most beautiful woman on their list? Aussie Girl, Ill be leaving for Brisbane in a few days, How are you?

keiriruisu said: maybe we should get back to the real subject of why white women for the most part don't seem to like asian men and the like. We've sort of gotten off of the subject.

that was the subject of the post? the answer is easy. white women's racism. oh i get it now. that's why asian american activism is all about stereotypes at the expense of other problems.

WHY?

The Andrew Lam link does not work. Here it is:

http://www.imdiversity.com/villages/asian/dialogue_opinion_letters/pns_lam_homework_0705.asp

This part was also interesting:

Is this a uniquely Asian problem? Of course not. But America still values the maverick, the inventor, the loudmouth class clown, the individual with a vision. American kids grow up saying "I" -- as in "I disagree" -- without a second thought.

But even in America, it is not so easy for an Asian kid in a Confucian family household to say something like that. As a frequent judge of writing contests for high school students, I find it curious that many Asian American entrants, even those with a perfect command of English, don't use the first- person narrative. The word "I" doesn't appear on the page, leaving writers to struggle with the awkward "one," even when addressing issues within their own families.

"To each his (or her) own." - agreement there. Really, what's the point of trying to analyse "WHY: asian men don't go for asain women...asain women go for caucasian men...some girls want jackie chan and DBZ cartoon characters etc" the truth is, it just IS. May i add some girls also go through a phase where they want to have a boyfriend who looks like a manga character - does that mean that they'll eventually go for asian guys with big eyes? no. "Women are more into the big bad dangerous and mysterious type." - please. I'll take that to be a joke and not actually what Jeff believes. It doesn't matter who goes out with who, in the end a person goes out with someone they're comfortable with. It just so happens that there's a trend in regards to how that relationship is orientated culturally.

The 'hostility towards blacks' thing was kind of random. we never said these relationships ( i think 'nelson' was referring to asian/white ones) were wholesome; we were saying why there aren't more cases where the male was asian and the female of a different nationality. in the case of nelson, im sorry you have experienced racial discrimination but asians experience that too. It is very generalised to say that 'both have condescending attitude toward black people', even if you HAVE seen it 'over and over again'.

Aussie girl: don't try "get over him". you can't force yourself to anyway. you don't know for sure WHY he isn't interested. wait till after HSC, then do something...just to prove a point for this forum haha.

Whoa – I been on camp and thus have missed a lot of interesting comments made by various people…

To RELAX –
I am feeling great!! I am OVER him…you see, I have just returned from a camp, and surprise, surprise…you guessed it – ‘he’ was there…well, I spent quite a lot of time with him…and he is dull. I am no longer attracted to him – I am dumbfounded at what I saw in him initially…he cannot string more than two sentences together, he is arrogant, he is a flirt, he is a …to cut a long story short – he is not the guy I want. You were right my wise RELAX – it was just a crush – and a very long one as well. The reason why is stretched for so long, was because I did not really know him…in my head I had built him up to be this great gentlemen, funny, attractive, smart...etc. But when I spent time with him, his true colours were revealed and I was NOT impressed. NOW do not get me wrong…if anyone else is reading this – I love Asians – I mean they don’t have chest hair, they have minimum facial hair and body hair, they are usually lean (thus you don’t have the fear of them bloating up if you decide to marry them), they are smart, they are funny, they are witty – plus when you mix an Asian with a non-Asian the result is usually astounding – and you have one hot person. Thus it is a win-win situation for all. Please note – that this time last year, I never even considered an Asian to be dating-material. Therefore for all the Asian men out there, you guys are the best, don’t let any air-head tell you different – this is coming from a white girl – we are NOT racist – so next time you see a white girl that you are attracted to, let the true you penetrate – and trust me…you will have one fun night as a result.

To Jeff -
“Women are more into the big bad dangerous and mysterious type” – you my friend, crack me up. But I will not elaborate because you are ‘bad’ and ‘dangerous’ – and I don’t want any hostility on this blog. But I will say this: hahahahahaha

To Sic –
I let time help me – time spent with ‘him’ cured me. I am not going to prove a point on this forum at the expense of myself or others – that will not be fair. Instead I thank you, it seems that you are one of the very few that actually understood what I went through – what I had to endure for months. And you shared some valuable encouragement which assisted me in this leg on my journey – so I genuinely thank you.

AUSSIE GIRL

Ive been down that road before. You are young, When High school ends thats when the fun begins. No rush to fall in love just meet people and enjoy your youth when you mature love will come. Im in my early 30s. My problem is one woman cannot satisfy me. I luv beautiful woman. I have a thing for beautiful Hispanic woman and as you know Asians. Im in Brisbane on the last leg of my buissness trip. Finnished training earlier than expected then off to the states, Home. No Hispainc girls in Aussie, but I guess the Asian chicks make up for a lack of. I guess ill take the long ride to the Gold Coast for some fun. You Aussies crack me up.

Brisbane hey…well there would definitely be no Hispanic and few Asians to satisfy your overwhelming lust for beautiful women…oh well, you are returning to the States soon – thus you don’t have to wait that long to feel ‘satisfied’ hehe.
On a more serious note, RELAX you sound as though you are one to ‘move around’ – like you cannot settle down with the one woman – perhaps, that may be due to your occupation – or maybe I am just reading too much into your previous message…whoops – we are not really contributing to the initial discussion…something about Asian men and white women…or was it the other way around?? LOL

Okay there have been a few people saying that white girls are racist against Asians and just could never be attracted to them. Sure, most white women (statistically) might not be attracted to Asian men, but they are out there. And you can't say that just because a white woman isn't attracted to Asian men she is a racist.

For me, it's really hard to ask an Asian man out just because I've personally tried to ask an Asian man out before (a good friend) who seemed almost repulsed by the idea of dating a white woman. If anything, I feel as though some Asian men just want to be our friends and don't really ever want to think of dating/marrying us. Of course, I know there are plenty out there who are attracted to white women, but it seems like there are so few that actually are, at least where I'm living. (I know maybe one of my Asian male friends that date outside his race.)

Found this randomly. Sorta cute flic despite the bad acting. Click on Yellow Fever once you go to this url:
http://wongfuproductions.com/indexhome.shtml

Ausie girl:

I think my problem is I love women to much. Im slowing down a lot. Im becomming a HOme body vice being a club Hound in my Younger years.

I'm asian..I don't see myself with any other race.That's the way it is meant to be...Asian women rules!!!

"that's the way it is meant to be"??

Richi you are narrow minded - asians are "not meant to be" with other asian only, whites are "not meant to be" with whites only etc.

Next time think properly before posting such a pathetic blog entry.

I was referring to myself when I made that statement, "that's the way it is meant to be"... for meeee..

but then again i do believe -asians with asians,whites with whites...in general

Whoops - I thought u were making a racist statement

Cheers

After reading this blog or website or whatever I have a couple of comments...or contributions (?) to make.

Firstly, I'm a caucasian Australian woman in a long term live-in relationship with a Korean man. Like a previous poster on this website, I am ashamed to say that I did not pay much attention or even notice Asian men before my current relationship. Why? because, and here I agree with many of the male posters on this site, I now consider that the media and western societies in general perpetuate an unfair stereotype of Asian males in general as "dorky" or less masculine than their caucasian counterparts. I can't think of many major American or western movie which has an Asian "leading man" who gets the girl in the end, and I can't think of even one which portrays an interracial love story of a AM/WF relationship.

Luckily, my boyfriend (who is VERY tall and handsome ;)) approached me in a nightclub a year and a half ago and the rest is history.

However, on a different note I have to say that stereotypes about caucasian or "western" women also abound among Asian & particularly Korean (from Korea, that is) men in general - my boyfriend told me recently that he was surprised I was able to prepare a passable meal because he had been told Western women do nothing around the house and that the men are responsible for cooking & cleaning!! I've also had to put up with innappropriate comments early on in our relationship from his male friends who obviously thought I would be comfortable with their thinly masked sexual curiosity. Even recently, an acquaintance of my boyfriend (not knowing that I understand Korean now!) said to another guy in front of me (bf was in the bathroom) that my bf must be getting a good time in the sack bc white girls are crazy for sex!

So, my thoughts are really that yes, a very unfair stereotype about Asian men has developed in the West, but also that I think that stereotypes abound about Western women also.

Aussie "Blonde" girl, It's really interesting to hear about the stereotypes of Western women in Asia. In America, the stereotypes of Asian women are that we're submissive and will do anything in bed. Supposidly we make good girlfriends because we cook and clean AND we're crazy for sex. I see there's a similar stereotype (at least regarding the sex part) of Western women in Asia as being easy. I guess the moral of the story is that women anywhere always get stereotyped on their sexual proclivities. Is this the way men define women? By what we do in bed?

Alrightie people this is going to sound really random but this is a message to RELAX:

Hey. Why have you not contributed to this discussion for ages?? - unless you are in some remote country where there is no net for a business trip, I will let you off the hook - lol

Well anyways you make this blog-site that little bit more interesting, so if you are reading this REPLY!!

I wish I had found this thread sooner.

The other day I was at a barbecue. My boyfriend is white, his roommate is a white girl dating a hapa man. I too am hapa, although often people mistake me for fully Asian. So anyway, it was the hapa boyfriend's barbecue, and he has lots of Asian and hapa friends, both male and female. However, I could not help but notice people's reactions when they realized that the white guy over there was my boyfriend. But nothing said about his white girlfriend? How very very annoying and unfair.

The problem with the Bitter Asian Men site is that these two guys are very young (everyone has relationship problems, especially at that age) and in the sciences. Not very sexy. But it's not even that they're into the sciences, it's that they don't even try to make the sciences look sexy! What are they passionate about, anyway?

I haven't dated a fully-Asian man because I haven't met one that interested me, not because I have ruled them out. Bitter Asian men should, instead of pulling the race card (because you'll only prevent yourself from dating by being bitter), focus on being an interesting, hip person. Wow the girls with your scintillating brilliantness and creativity and whatever else you've got, not with the fact that you're Asian or with a laundry list of academic achievements, as the Bitter Asian Men website does (snore).

There are sub-cultures to the subcultures, and ethnicity isn't enough (and shouldn't be enough) to make a match. I also resent the notion that Asian women MUST date an Asian man (and vice versa). How oppressive is this! How "blud und boden"! A woman doesn't belong to a man by virtue of ethnic category.

Recently I saw a tee-shirt that said "everyone loves a mixed girl." Thank you to the person who came up with that one--a tee-shirt that I can wear! And thanks to the people that can defy social pressures for the one they love and mix it up.

About Asians bein bitter: You know... I thought so too about the Asian Americans. I mean, I was in the CA and through some Asian contacts, (I am from Singapore), was hooked up to some partying with Asian people living in CA. What a bummer!
First, they all looked really studious. I won't even say smart. Because to be smart you need some balls. They don't look like they had any. Guys and girls. They just seemed reserved, polite... and BORING. Except one Vietnamese girl. She was the slightly 'wilder' one.. but hey... her friends and circle probably numbed her to what she can actually be.
Totally shattered my idea of being in America. I was thinking, do ALL AA live this way??? Jeez!

At least when I was in UT, I saw the hottest blonde in the club, nice body and all, and was about to approach her when I saw this dude in front of her. He was Asian. I smiled and immediately went over and introduced myself and shook his hand. He was from Vietnam. I just flat out told him, your girl is HOT! He said, thanks. (REALLY great face and body, I tell you. The type to turn heads). Moments later she was snogging him. Oh well. But when he was dancing on the platform, I saw him tugging at her skirt. Maybe too short? If I was in his position, I wouldn't give one crap about that. (But on the other hand, if she was Asian, I would give ten tons of crap. Double standards? Possible. I notice that I give much more freedom to my non Asian partners. Maybe it stems from the thought that they cannot take care of themselves? Don't know where that came from. Definitely racist.).

Anyways, AA guys, PLEASE STOP putting yourselves down. If I were a white girl reading this board... I would just trail off and leave thinking, pfff, losers.

Seriously, I have never met another group of Asians in another part of the world as self depreciative as you guys. I have been to 21 countries. Even the Asians in Europe are darn proud of themselves. Even those who don't speak English, they still have a lot of zest about them!

I liked what the other poster wrote about the Filipino girl. Seriously guys, it is all in the MIND. YOUR MIND. I think you analyse the situation to death that you fail to make ANY move. And then you cry and complain. WHO THE HELL is going to be attracted to such people? Not me, if I were a girl.

Among my experiences with white girls, I have had experiences with Irish/Canadian, Canadian, Italian, Dutch, dated an American with a killer ass, but didn't bang her... Uzbekistan model, German. Either that's all or I can't recall off the top of my head.

White, black, or whatever, they are just the same... girls. And being female, they just want the universal things girls want. That is to be pampered, by a MAN, be led at times, be asked for opinions at times, be grabbed and thrown into bed and having someone whisper into their ear 'I want you. NOW.'
Etc... . Guys, it's really up to you. Stop being sissy about it and complaining wouldn't help.

When I see a hot girl, I just go up and talk. No matter the race. Once you get better, rejections become a thing of the past and in a few seconds, you know exactly what to say, how to say it and how to play it right. I get a girl's phone number almost 100% of the time. That's also because I come across as sincere. It doesn't matter what you are sincere about, but you just have to be sincere. Even if you are sincere about bedding her.

Guys, get your chin off the floor! March out there and BE A MAN!

P.S. To my friends in CA, If anyone of you reading this finds out who I am, please don't take it personally. I love you guys, you are awesome people to hang out with and you are definitely one of the most sincere people out there and when I was with you guys, I felt totally safe, and that says a lot about your characters. But, what I wrote is just what I felt. Nothing personal. I just thought AA in CA should be more 'party-like', that's all. You guys are just so decent you are sweet.

Hahaha the questions posed in this thread are..made..for me.

This topic is something I have argued with my(predominately) white friends for ages....ever since I became interested in girls and got rejected by one because I was asian(at my yaer 10 formal no less!!:().

At first I was very bitter, and blamed the girls for being racist/closeminded/nazi:P etc.

And I'm still bitter but I no longer blame the white girls as such. I blame western society and many asian guys.

Western society is one that is (obviously) filled with white male leads in everything. I mean the "hawtest guys EV3R!!" are all white in this society, whether its in popmusic, movies or Top 100 hottest people ever polls. And this creates a kind of illusion that white, and only white is hawt enough to be on magazines. And then impressionable 14 year old girls grow up with this and believe it all.

However alot of the problem is with asian guys. I go to one of the *top schools*(like Aussie Girl:P) in Sydney, Australia as well (Sydney Grammar) and at least 40% of the school is asian.

As such I slowly began to realise that the problem wasn't mainly to do with the girls but with the asian guys I saw everyday. They preferred playing computer games then going to the gym or being active, they lacked social skills because they never went to parties or went anywhere. They had crappy fashion sense, so that whenever they did go out they looked like someone from the 50's.

So the end result is small, unfit looking, pudgy asian guys with glasses who lacked social skills and dressed like a tard. So why on earth would any, let alone a white, girl like them?

Obviously I don't mean every asian guy is like as a few did look good and scored with girls of all races....but I think these bitter asian men would do a lot better by solving their own problems: work out and dress better so that you *become* more attractive, learn to talk to girls and with other people. Be more sociable and the girls and relationships will follow.

messages to the asian geeks:
be yourself;don't change because someone thinks you won't be liked if you don't...if you want to play video games rather than go out,do it...if you feel like dressing like a 50 yr old man,by all means -it's what makes you feel comfortable.If you're shy,be shy..don't change for any white girls,or any kinds of girls.In the end,you will only be miserable.Don't don't let society dictate how you should be.As Mr Rogers would say:"You are perfect just the way you are"
-another asian geek

Has anyone reading this been to Honolulu? Biracial/multiracial relationships and families are so part of the norm that this thread would seem ridiculous and petty to many. This includes all combinations and permutations of race, gender: white women w/ asian men and vice versa, japanese with korean with hawaiian with portuguese, white trannies with asian trannies, or myself - a pinay girl whose recent girl was a blond haole (white) woman. I would've dated the Hawaiian woman who liked me but she had a non-ironic mullet and just got out of prison! (So nothing to do with white being "gold standard" - just personal dating standards in choosing a mate) I know if I was a straight girl, lots of Chinese and Japanese mamas tell their boys not to date Filipino girls, but I'm not bitter. But maybe it's because my dick is store-bought and glittery, and therefore not representative of a fragile ego! I'm not a boy hater, though - non-misogynist, secure Pinoy boys are FOXY - I've dated a few with fond memories...

To Chie:

I agree man, if you guys don't feel the urge or need to change the way you are and you're happy with yourself thats awesome as so very few people are.

I think the problem is, is that unless there is some change on both sides these "OMG WHITE WOMENZ HATE US!Q11!1!" threads will never end.

Give it time dudes. I think we Asian men are just late blooming or that white women have only recently begun to notice us. Eventually the more Asian women outdate, white women would feel alienated and be curious about Asian men too. I see this happening in LA already. Compared to a decade ago, I have to say I see a bit more Asian men with white women. We are not on parity level yet, but it seems the disparity will even out in one generation or the next. An Asian guy born here (America), takes care of himself physically (good nutrition, some athletic look), wears Calvin Klein or Sean Jean should have no trouble hooking up with a cute white girl.

I on the otherhand, only liked Hispanic Latino women. They seem more picky than white girls. But, that is part of the game. Can't hate the player, hate the game. We just have to continue playing along with it.

Oh, I have always been the one who is the aggressor and holla at girls. A couple of the girls I dated told me that outspokenness and being flirtatious just looked a bit strange on Asian men. At first, they said it made me look a little desperate. They just couldn't envision an Asian man trying to be Don Juan. But, my persistence paid off.

Trust me, we have read the handwriting on the wall and we learn from our environ. We struggle, and we adapt. It just takes time and patience. This makes the whole thing more special and unique. We earn our love. It does not just fall from the sky for us.

Yes, i find the whining on most of these websites really sad and pathetic. Part of the problem is Asian girls, no matter what anyone says, have bought into the white male status hype. The other thing is that Asian men havent made themselves "sticky" enough. Alot of Asian guys just don't have any pride. You see alot of other men in other cultures try and out Alpha male each other, Asian guys dont even try. They just try to fit in.

Me, I'm competitive by nature so I do alot of things for fun, as hobbies and my job, that some people would consider risky or just unique. Call it the quest to compete, out do, out alpha. But honestly i dont even need to try and pick up women, i just find that girls are attracted to that.

So maybe when you distill it down its not ethnicity, although I'm not an ugly guy. If i was just a normal non-fun loving, snarky, witty guy with lots of fund stories to share, no one would give two shits what i did for a living or what my hobbies were. Its the entire package, ethnicity is just part of the equation. Dont give in to the "self-fulfilling prophecy". Have a little pride...shieet.

To Aussie girl: Yea ive been gone alot. Hit all parts of the world. I think Asian guys should just be themselves. If you like to play games then play games. Some races are just naturals at socializing and some are not. Everyone wants to be cool. Who are the coolest people in America? white people imitate black people, Asian people imtate the white people that imitate the black people, so do the Mexicans and such. everyone be yourselves reguardless of how lame you are.

heya RELAX:
"Some races are just naturals at socialising and some are not" - perhaps this is more a stereotype statement than factual. There was a previous blog where an Asian shared a recount where he was criticised for being "loud" - apparently it looked "weird" for an Asian to be soo open. Thus it is definitely a sterotypical suggestion that some races are more out-spoken than others. However, having said that, I totally agree with you that "everyone [should] be themeselves regardless of how lame you are" - that bluntless towards the end is soo typical of you!
Anyways prior to my attraction to an Asian I never realised how much of a problem this social-barrier is - I use to automatically exclude Asians as "non-datable" material and just considered them as brains that could assist me when I needed help with Mathematics or my Sciences...BUT there is soo much more to "Asians" than that!! And if white girls can't overcome that, it is tough luck to them.

Aussie Girl;

Keep in mind, I live in America. Its a whole different story from Australia. Two different worlds babe

I understand that we come from different countries - but I would not say "a whole different story from Australia" - perhaps that was a bit on the dramatic side? Australia is also a country where the "white population" are considered the top at the social hierarchy. Thus I see the racial discrimination on a daily basis - though now I am more aware of it.

Australia and America is totally different. Im American and ive been to Australia. We have similarities with you guys, but not that much. Asian are Aussie largest Minority group. In America Black Ammericans and Hispanics are the largest. There are 11 millon Asian Americans, but only accounts for 5 percent of the American population. Not counting all the other Minorities we have here. I ahte to say it, but some stereotypes are accurate

Heya RELAX – sorry to have to do this to you buddie but you posted some misleading info in your last blog entry. There are only about 5% of Australia’s 18 million residents who are Asians (same as in America) – however Asians make up 40% of the annual immigration population. BUT if it makes you feel any better, according to some “projections”, 25% of Australia’s population in 2025 will be Asians. Thus perhaps Australia and America have more in common than what you initially thought?

hello - does anyone else agree with me when i write:

"relax and aussie girl" should exchange personal details? and continue from there?"

u guys are having your own completely isolated discussion!

To "Anonymous"

No one is having their "own completely isolated discussion" - if you want to contribute to the discussion, there is no prevention. And as if I would post my personal details when imbeciles like you have access to it?

"Alot of Asian guys just don't have any pride. You see alot of other men in other cultures try and out Alpha male each other, Asian guys dont even try. They just try to fit in."

I vehemently disagree with this statement! I don't know about you, but all my male asian counterparts including myself possess an abundance of pride! And on top of that, because we have faced so much adversity in our lives due to discrimination, it makes us even stronger, it gives us the drive and ambition to be on top, to be the alpha male and change the status quo/hierarchy.

Please do not make irresponsible statements like that. Not all of us are, as you infer, "weak".

I grew up in a small town that is predominantly white. Everyday i was called a "chink". I resented every white person there and still do to some degree. But i realized that i would not be where i am today if i had not gone through that

i really agree with you, but look at some of these blogs. "Are Asian Blue Eyed". Why would anyone compare themselves to Caucasions, it happens all the time. Its as if Asians are looking for some type of honorary White Card of acceptance. Im half, but its the other half not the Caucasion half. I believe in people comparing themselves to me, not me comparing to someone else. When I see that then I know im making a dents in society. So I am a believer that pride is truly a trait everyone needs. Dont try to fit in, dare to be different. Have them copy your Culture. Dont Co-Opt American culture, but create a new chapter in it. Angry Asian, People like you that stand for something are the only ones that will make change. Ass Kissers will settle for anything. Be the Rule, not the exception. I stand by that rule.

That blog entry is about the Memoirs of a Geisha movie. I doubt very much that a magazine like Hyphen gives a damn about being like white people.

There are many kinds of Asian Americans (or Asians of the diaspora since we're talking about Asians in Austrailia too). I think people have different experiences growing up, and depending on their own upbringing and values, some of them turn out white-washed and aspiring to whiteness. Some people may grow up wanting to be white, but then open their eyes later and develop pride in their culture. And some people were brought up with pride.

I agree with Angry Azn Brotha. I see lots of proud, ambitious Asian men. But I do also see lots of wanna-be-whites. That makes me sad.

To “another_angry_azn_brotha” (and all other Bitter Asian men);

“I resented every white person there and still do in some degree” – I can understand why you may feel this way. However, you should be filled with pride; you broke away from the social restrictions and by the sounds of things succeeded in life. This should be an example to all other “bitter Asian men” that you have as much chance as your white neighbours to be a success. Most white people view Asians as a threat (as was stated in a previous blog) – when I think “Asian”, I automatically think “smart” – this is due to their “competitive” nature - contradicting the statement “Asian guys don’t even try”. I am sorry that you had to grow up in an environment where you were discriminated against on a daily basis. But as you said “I would not be where I am if I had not gone through that” proving that you transformed a negative situation and turned it into the fuel to feed your desire to “change the status quo/hierarchy”. This should serve as an encouragement to all other Asian men, there is no need to bitter – and if you are feeling bitter, it is no one else’s fault but your own, you have chose to live a bitter life. As RELAX wittily summed it up: “Be the rule, not the exception”.

In America every monority is a threat. with 12 million illegal aliens
undocumented. The numbers of whites are declining. Its a mess over here

RELAX:

"The numbers of whites are declining. Its a mess over here" - wouldn't that be a beneficial thing? This means that America is becoming more multicultural - thus evening out the ratios between the races.

Thing is Aussie Girl, I'm not convinced multiculturalism is THAT good a thing.

I for one think it is ailing in Australia.

On topic:

I've noticed within my group of asian friends there are 2 ways they mainly interpret the situation. You have the half who are borderline racist and refuse to date outside of asians and then you have the others who are bitter asian men:P

So, as a result you have a half who refuse to date/try with white girls on principle and the other half who are too angry to try...and end up whining all day.

Its a lose lose situation that I doubt will end anytime soon.

As for all the guys telling us to "try harder"...for me *trying* isn't an issue...I have an issue about being deemed "second rate" physically and sexually by white mainstream society.

Aussie Girl

Its already multi-cultural. We do not need anymore culture over here. We cannot house the world. Lady Australia can open her doors a little more

RELAX, I doubt it. Our racism isn't as explicit as it is in America but its still there...kind of underneath the "We are SO multicultural..." image.

To Aussie Girl:

Thank you for your kind words. I do have a lot of pride; not from breaking "away from social restrictions", but from, for the most part, who i've become and my journey so far to this point in my life.

I don't believe that asians are at a disadvantage compared to our white counterparts. Here in Vancouver, there is a huge asian population so ethnicity is not a huge issue when it comes to employment, or at least i would hope not. On the contrary, i think asians would have the upper hand when it comes to jobs. Asians have a facade of being harder working and more efficient employees.

Most white people view Asians as a threat (as was stated in a previous blog) – when I think “Asian”, I automatically think “smart”

you better believe it! And I am a double threat cause I am smart and good looking (and maybe a bit arrogant lol).

I don't think being bitter is always a bad thing. I was bitter. But again, that is why i am determined to change the status quo/social hierarchy, because I want to be on top. It's all about how you channel that bitterness.

To Relax:

I compare myself to other people all the time, especially successful white professionals. That doesn't mean i want to be them. It just simply means that i want the same things if not more.

To MUT:
“Our racism isn't as explicit as it is in America but its still there...kind of underneath the "We are SO multicultural..." image.”
Where have you been this entire year? Remember the Cornulla riots earlier this year? How crazy things turned? I was reluctant to return to beach until things calmed down. Australia’s racism is just as obvious as the racism in America. I know the riot was mainly between the Lebanese and the Australians, though the Australians took out their anger on all other minority races – including the Asians. I remember reading in the newspaper a recount where these two Asians were chased down the street by a mob of frustrated Australians and they had jumped into their car, which was later smashed by the mob, it required an army of police officers to settle the matter. When I had showed this article with disgust to my white friend, who was sitting next to me, she fell to the ground laughing, crying “Kat imagine those two puny Asians scared s***-less in their car”. I was shocked. In my eyes, my friend was just as bad as those other Australians who took part in the riot. Thus racism is a major issue in Australia, why else do you think that I contribute to this blog – you can probably guess the school that I attend (just look at my first entries) and can appreciate our little time I have to spare – but I fell passionate about this issue, and thus am willing to write on a daily basis.

To another_angry_azn_brotha (MUT read this too):
“I compare myself to other people all the time, especially successful white professionals”
You my friend should serve as a prime example to all other Asian men (across the world) that there is truly no need to be bitter. All bitter Asian men (and white people) should be comparing themselves to you, fullstop. You don’t let the fact that you are an Asian pollute your mind (like MUT does) in believing that you are “second rate" physically and sexually” – this can be reflected in your words “And I am a double threat cause I am smart and good looking”. So this is a message to all Asian men out there, THERE IS NO NEED TO BE BITTER

And finally, last but definitely not less, RELAX:
I guess that was unwise of me to conclude that “the declining of white people” would serve as a solution to this “bitter Asian men” business. Trust me, “Lady Australia” (ha) has opened its doors far enough – there is a variety of nationalities here – after all we are renowned for our “multicultural” image. I guess the true solution to this social problem lies within those that are affected: “It's all about how you channel that bitterness” – thus you can chose to follow one of two paths. The first being designed for all those Asian men who believe that they are destined to led bitter lives or the second path for all those Asian men who believe that they are an equal to their white companions, in all area, and thus have no limits to how much they can achieve in life.

I leave you all with this – as you are aware of, I am NOT an Asian. Because I attend the top school in Australia, I am one of the few non-Asians there (proving my point that Asians ARE exceptionally intelligent). Thus I am constantly reminded of this fact by many of my friends at school – and also by the staff there. However, there is rumour going around that those “few non-Asians” who do attend my school, are given special preference by the staff. There is truly no proof of this – well at least I can’t think of an example of where this has occurred. My point is, I am aware of that there is a belief “that whites are the golden-standard” – yet this HAS NOT prevented all my Asian companions from trying to succeed in life. For this I have proof. In the top five schools in Australia, ASIANS are the MAIN nationality. Thus, you Asians should NOT be wasting your intelligence on matters like this. The actions and words of the white population are spiteful – this is because they are jealous. Why? Because they are aware of your true potential, and will do anything to hold you down.

I think you're misguided if you think violence in Australia is anywhere as bad as America.

And I think your friend's comment is proof to myself that there is a need to be bitter. What did your friend first think when she heard about asians in a potentially violent situation? "Omg they're SO tiny" Which leads onto my point about us being viewed as "second rate"...

You took that comment wrongly; I DO NOT think of myself as physically second rate. I have found it is a stereotype white girls (like your friend) still have. I see it as fuel to better myself so that I am physically on par or above with the white males I go to school with. This is the reason I lift weights, train combat sports, play rugby etc...its like a proof to myself. Afterall, like you said...the asians have the "study" part covered;)

Having said all that, this white girl situation is the only one in the Asian/white debate that has got me stumped.

You say that there is a"second path for all those Asian men who believe that they are an equal to their white companions, in all area, and thus have no limits to how much they can achieve in life"---> That's all well and good but asians here are still a step below whites in the social hierarchy... so yes there are "no limits" to what we can achieve technically...but white bias is making it harder. For example, my friend's band being told that they need a non-asian front man because an asian front man won't be able to pull girls in, the girls that make up 80% of the fanbase of crappy pop bands.

And no I don't know which school you go to. A top school in Australia with girls...

James Ruse? Sydney Girls High? PLC? North Sydney Girls?

Point is: HSC sucks.

Angry Asian:

Just because a Person wants to be succesful doesnt men he wants to be White. I know successful professionals of all races and are proud of who they are, Me for one. The problem I have is when people think you must look like Beyonce, or Paris Hilton for Social status sense thats all we see on these pop magazines. Im half/black, half Asian. Can you imagine the discrimination I went through. My mother being born and raised in Asia moving to the states, Comming from a traditional East Asian family, wooooo, did she piss them off, but at the same time, I had a great life and wouldnt change it for nothing.

Aussie Girl:

I think it would behoove you to take American History, I think you are really left in the dark. I mean learn from Non-Caucasion authors. I mean get really into it. The reason I say this is because we have 100ds of year old scars that havent healed yet with most minorities. Ive been to Australia, You guys are a fast and rising melting pot, but no were near the states. Therefore, you guys truly and I mean truly do not have the domsetic problems we have. Well at least at a lower scale.

I compare myself to people I admire, alot of them are not white, bur some are. Im not wrapped up in this White World. If you keep looking at a particular race as being supreme it gets to a point to were is a form a of flattery for them.

To MUT:
Got it in the first go: James Ruse (DUH)
“I think you're misguided if you think violence in Australia is anywhere as bad as America”
I never wrote that the violence in Australia is as “bad” as in America – I just stated that here in Australia, we too experience the violence between the nationalities. I am well aware of the fact that the situation is slightly better here, here in our “multicultural” society. However the only reason why I think the situation is better here is because of the government, Howard was appalled with the on goings earlier this year between the races – thus he took drastic measures. Why? Because he wanted to save Australia face – he DID NOT want Australia to bee seen by the rest of the world as a “racist” country. Perhaps, America is just not as effective as us to keep all these tensions between the races “hushed-up”.
“And I think your friend's comment is proof to myself that there is a need to be bitter. ..Which leads onto my point about us being viewed as "second rate"...”
Alright – you have a point here. BUT this “friend” of mine is only one person. I am also a white person. And it is clear how I feel about this issue. Thus so far the ratio is one to one…
“there are "no limits" to what we can achieve technically...but white bias is making it harder”
Ever asked yourself why this is so?? They are envious of your true potential – ever since the Gold mining days – the whole “yellow peril” episode, where the “true Aussies” ran around cutting the Asians pony tails off and sabotaged their mining areas etc. They did this all because a) the Asians did not follow their traditional ways BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY b)the Asians were having more success in the goldmines due to the fact that they worked harder and longer hours and c)the white girls at the time where marrying the Asians. This course of study is in the syllabus stages 4 and 5 – thus it is mandatory for all Australian students to study. Thus it is now a known fact amongst the younger generation of Australians – changing the way we perceive Asians compared to our older generation.
“For example, my friend's band being told that they need a non-asian front man because an asian front man won't be able to pull girls in, the girls that make up 80% of the fanbase of crappy pop bands.”
I can completely understand where you are coming from. And it is moments like this that I am truly revolted by our society. However, if your friend’s band, with the leading man being Asian, was great – they will be pulling girls from all different nationalities. I understand that the music industry is “image-based” BUT one’s image can only take a band so far, the success of the band lies within their artistic abilities. When one plays your bands music, I am sure that they are more interested in the words and the quality of their music then if they were Asians, African, American etc. Thus, they should not take that suggestion of having a “white” leading man too seriously.
Oh – I agree the “HSC sucks”. BUT it’s worth it. I want to become a barrister – I do not care if I have to suffer for one year if it means that I can fulfill my ambition.

RELAX:
You are half black / half Asian. To be honest – I automatically assumed that your second half was fair-skinned. I am not sure how I came to this conclusion. I guess I did because you have never hinted that you have personally experienced discrimination – not implying anything here. I am really, really sorry that you too had to face discrimination in your life – but I am so glad that you did not let this get to you and have led a “great life” as a result. Another example for all those men who claim that they are “bitter Asians” – for RELAX, this was a complete new ball game and he kicked-arsed.
And you know what? I am going to take your advice: I am definitely going to probe deeper into American’s history. You sound very well educated on this – for you, I will squeeze this extra bit of work into my hectic schedule. Thank you.

Good luck with the barrister thing then...I just want to go to uni already:P-->Trials on monday:(

"Thus so far the ratio is one to one…"
In this context maybe, overall I still believe white girls and guys have this impression of asian males.

I haven't studied the gold rush period so i can't really comment on that analogy...but I get your point. However, the white dominated media and white dominated ways of thought in western society are harder to overcome than some in this blog and elsewhere are saying. I mean yeah they *might* be paranoid about the yellow peril or whatever but the reason is irrelevant.China's upcoming social and economic boom may change this..I hope so anyway.

As for the band thing, popular culture is image. You don't have the right image, you won't make it.... The most skilled musicians lie outside of popular culture for a reason.

ERGH – this is becoming addictive.
Thanks for the good wishes. Same to you. I hope you perform exceptionally well in your trails – it doesn’t hurt when you attend a selective :)
“You don't have the right image, you won't make it.... The most skilled musicians lie outside of popular culture for a reason.”
Nope. I totally disagree with you. There are so many well-named artists out there that take the word “unattractive” to a new level. If you have talent and the motivation to succeed, you will. Take Michael Jackson for example – dude, the guy makes me sick to look at him – yet I have his songs on my mp3 (right after Mariah Carrie and before Pink – I listen to a variety of music) plus he is supposedly the “King of Pop”. MUT if a man covered in plastic can sell record-breaking records, I am sure an Asian can too.

Michael Jackson was popular before he became white iirc.

I was referring more to the modern pop scene anyway. Nowadays its about how hot you are or the image you portray (50cent's gangsta image for example).

back on topic.....

Year 12 formal is on in a couple of months. Wonder how many asian guys will turn up with white girls...not many I'll bet. Though there are a few asian guys in my year that go only really for white girls, I'd like to see the ratio between AA/AF couples to AA/WF couples when it happens.

Anyone here ever been/heard of someone being rejected because of the small penis stereotype? I've never seen it happen though I'm sure its happened before.

Also...anyone knowo good websites that talk about this topic (preferably forums)...besides the fighting 44's?

I have a better question instead of:

"Wonder how many asian guys will turn up with white girls"

Why not ask:

"I wonder how many Asians are going to achieve the top UAIs?"

Taking a white girl to the formal is not an achievement - so who cares if you go with a black, white or an Asian. At the end of the night you'd probably be too drunk to remember.

Oh - there are some other intersting sites: wait up will I recall the addresses

Here:

http://www.japan-guide.com/forum/quereadisplay.html?0+18812

ive skimmed through it - initially the discussion is bout japanese males - but like all forums - it becomes more general and includes are Asians

Have fun

Because getting a top UAI is irrelevant when concerning interracial dating:P

And yes taking a white girl to the formal is small, but you know it may lead to more. And by more I mean a proper relationship....something that is still quite an objective for some, as shown by this thread.

thanks for the link.

I was being insensitive. I just remembered that you were, what is the euphemism? Umm had your offer declined to escort a “white” girl to your year ten formal. However, if you still wish to be seen with a “white” girl in public – good luck. RELAX once told me this, let us see if I can recall off-by-heart: “you will either hit or miss”. I just do not believe that you were over your “refusal” that occurred two years ago.

True, that rejection was the trigger for my part in this little crusade...but I'm over it in the sense that I no longer *go* for girls anyway.

Hey man. There is no need to give up on girls’ altogether because one “white” girl refused you. Perhaps she had someone else in mind – you should not jump to the conclusion she refused you purely based on you being an Asian. Especially not at Sydney Grammar High, she would be used to associating and mingling with Asians – I know that I am. If you have a girl in mind (even if she is white) ask her to your year 12 formal. Don’t let one rejection haunt you for the rest of your life.

By the way - how did you find the link?

I didn't give up on girls because of that one rejection...its due to our social hierarchy and because im an overly cynical, lazy bastard (esp when it comes to love and all that crap):P Not to mention a lot of myfriends having the same problem.

And she goes to SCEGGS(Grammar is all boys) an almost all white school...and I know she said no because she doesn't find asian boys attractive.

The link was a good read thanks...as usual with this topic though...more questions than answers.

whoops - I thought my girlfriend said she came from Sydney Grammar - my bad!

Alright - you will probably feel this way now - but who knows what lies ahead for you. Whatever it is, I am positive it would be better than how it is now.

Cheers buddie

PS Go study!!

Your girlfriend lol?

Nah I've got an easy way out of this situation...I'll start trying for girls when I move to China, after uni.:P

And yeah I can't make myself study anymore. Areas of thinking/Journeys is terrible.

Nah - I probably wasn't listening properly: I have my earphone surgerically attached to my ears

Yeah in China they will LOVE you - an Australian Asian with a great education. Though it is a shame that you have to search overseas for a potential girlfriend

Goodluck with ur studies

hahah yeah. I already have a social group in china and in hong kong. I get along much better with the girls there.

Probably cos there's no barrier or insecurity between us.

Hey MUT

I know I am going to regret this later BUT I know that I am the sole person responsible for causing distractions on this blog so add me to msn instead:

warning_totallyaddictive7@hotmail.com

Heya RELAX:

One problem - I have NO idea where to start my reseaching, there is so much information. Have a suggestion?

Cheers

"Just because a Person wants to be succesful doesnt men he wants to be White."

Whoa, hold up. I never said that i wanted to be white. That's the last thing i want to be! No offence to the whitefolks out there. I simply stated that i compare myself to them. In North America, many of the high profile positions are dominated by whites. All i'm saying is that i want the same things too; the wealth, the status and respect.

And when i am in that position, i will do all that i can to ensure that we, as asians become the hegemonic group. That's all. As simple as that.

To Aussie Girl:

I am bitter. I'm bitter that North American society is dominated by a preponderance of white males. And that is why I am so adamant to change this.

AUSSIE GIRL:

I send you some good books

Thanks a lot - I take it you meant via my email. Thanks you again for the generousity.

I am asian and I like big black mamas and hefty mexican (not latin, just mexican) women. It is a fetish that has gotten my ass beat by their parents as I pull a peeping tom at their dwellings.

What is not to like? They are ethnic as ethnic gets with an urban flavor. The tan, the meat, the dark nails... yummy

Asian girls got nuthin' on them. The only way I would trade up an urban honey is if there were 5 asian chicks that is willing to party in my bed at the same time... not even four! I am going to go beat myself off now. Thank you for listening

[Several posts from Mickey B and Dickey C deleted for being inappropriate -- and oh, from the same person. - WebEditor]

I really have to say it like it is here: Mickey B is a strange man.

So..how are everyone elses asian problems going:P?

Its ok Mickey...its ok... we understand that you touch yourself at night.

Well, I too attend one of the select schools of sydney - North Sydney Boys, and happen to be asian, due to statistics and such. So much so that it is custom among us asians to call the whites "them filthy efnics". Actually, thats only me, but you get my point on the majority of asians thing in selective schools.

On a personal level, the occurence of asian male / western female couples is quite rare. My sister school is also dominated by the asian invasion, meaning that its less likely for any one from my school to find a non-asian girlfriend, whether one is asian himself or not. Though I haven't experienced so much bitterness from any fellow asians on the specific interracial relationship thing (probably because we're all nerds who don't go out anyway), its pretty much the unspoken norm that as a good asian boy you'd go out with a good asian girl, eventually after achieving your 99 UAI. Incidentally, I personally subscribe to that plan, although I have nothing against inter-racial couples myself. However I still find the prejudice endeared in the emasculated Asian guy stereotype in general (not only in the form of relationships) at best ironically amusing, and at worst plain obscene.

On that topic, people don't like to admit their prejudices and stereotypes because of their insinuated and subconcious nature, buried and disguised as common sense and 'just the way things are'. Im afraid its true - Ill always be viewed as a potential IT System's analyst, Chartered Accountant or Dry Cleaner, than actually a date.

And along with these prejudices, is the source of them itself - the immigrant mindset of asian families, that creates these unbalances. The first generation asian children (which are the main asian variety in Sydney Schools) are both conciously and unconciously conditioned as outsiders by parents and society. Though it is possible to assimilate to some extent into white society, the fact is that you will always be viewed as an outsider.

This transfers to the asian male working harder on academic areas, to compensate for that difference, and for the asian females to either do the same, or to use the vehicle of relationships to achieve social parity ("making it"). Historically, it has always been the women of a submissive society that have inter-married, as a form of cultural domination by those in power. Since this does not apply to males, they are then left, to no surprise, increasingly bitter.

On the flipside, if you went back to the Tang Dynasty and had some filthy white barbarian from the Dark Ages turn up in the Middle Kingdom to look for some sweet pickup action, he'd find himself quite empty handed. So all I have to do is wait for China to buy out all of Australia with that undevalued currency of theirs, so all the white ladies will be all over me and my yuan.

Hispanic women look better

listen to Aussie Girl, This loser Weller and some loser called annonymous. First of all North America was founded by affluent white men that asians got a free ride on. Just like they got a free ride on american banking and industrialization.
The corporate positions in America are dominated by thoses that earned it. Educated white men from european institutions.
MY country does not need to be sinosized like Mongolia!
IT's an outrage to listen to a "chinaman" like Weller whp probably cheated his way into a select school to call whites in Australia "Filthy Ethnics"?
Maybe Hitler would have had a final solution for your race to? Who knows?
I mean what's next europe?
Do you people ever stop populating and
overwhelming. Thank God for SARS.
I want to see the Americanization of China. How's that.
I want to be the first white chairman of Levono Corporation!
I want to go to Homg Kong and open an all white school. What do you think?
How's about an America Town with nothing but "White" running around.
First of all this loser Weller would not admit that China's entire middle class was created by the U.N. since the 1950's to open thier curreny to global markets.
So if it wasn't for white China would still 3/4 wastelands and villages. Not to mention the nuclear secrets that they steal from us.
Secondly if I would have showed up in a chinese peasant village in the Tang Dynasty which just means some horny chinaman king , I would have been versed in greek , latin and Aramaic. the language of classical education , as well as versed in the dialogues of Galileo . Meaning I would have knowledge of Jupier well before the poom tang dynasty knew it existed!
Also China continues to undervalue it's currency against the U.S. dollar giving it unfair trade advantages. It's called the "Dollar Drain" and that's what Australia is doing to China as we speak so the fx never reaches parity. By the way this pseudo intellectual called Weller which is a white name , by the way , is using the term out of context. So he is quite the pseudo intellectual. Parit is a term for convertible corporate bonds in the public and private sector.
No offense to all non-whites but the last thing I would want to be is Asain.
PLease get out of Australia I want somewhere white to go to. God you people are worse than mexicans.
One good thing about Chinese is that you know you are going to et good dry-cleaning and fast food!

i am a white male living in nyc.my girl is japanese and italian.her FATHER is japanese.i worked at a place called the japanese society.i have seen a fair share of asian guys with white girls there.i have also noticed more of these couples on the subways.as far as "fried eggs" go, i know that there is an increasing amount of white females that can be labled as such.also i know white girls that are in love with certain asian band members.in short i believe that white girls are begining to open up to asian men.

Thank you James, for reassuring me that stupidity still does exist in this world.

And to think I was thinking it was all butterflies and lollipops for a little while...

Why not date black women? Black women and Asian men have the same problems, lack of appreciation for their beauty/attractiveness. Why must an Asian man be with a white women? If you really don't want to be alone, go find an attractive and approachable black woman. I am sure you would be surprised as how receptive some black wome would be. If you are racist towards black women you have no right to be upset that you've fallen victim to negative racial stereotypes as well.

yes cos "black" women are all over Australia.

MUT I think you are seriously missing the point of the previous blog. The point isn't just for bitter asian men to seek black women for companions as a "substitute" for white females...but for them to seek other minority nationalities, in other words, there are other females besides whites who are willing to form a relationship with asians - you should cut down on your sarcastic remarks, these are just opinions - you have them, I have them, everyone has them.

Sarcasm is a form of argument,its not like I was being hostile. He's welcome to be an ass back if he wants to.

And meh, girls are girls, western society is geared against asian guys in some way, hence the social disparity at the moment. Who cares, this debate isn't going anywhere.

CHRIStian faith sees the devil in non-whites. 500 years of aggression against humanity by whites cannot convince them of the truth of their moral wrongs. Vietnamese died in the millions and took to celibacy following Ho Chi Minh's leadership to save their children from Thailand's fate. I hate Gomer because he sings gospel and was an advocate for baptizing human beings with napalm. Religious race hate killed John Lennon, Bruce Lee and Bruce Lee's son. If you are a non-white be cautious, the social atmosphere is toxic even if it seems invisible to you.

Dear Aussie Girl. You dated a singaporean from singapore? You read about jap males? A majority of my childhood was spent living outside of asia and the main cultural influences of my childhood and teenagehood has been the western culture. It really has been a mix of australian, britain and america. However, I have grown up in an australian territory my whole life, have been taught by australian teachers my whole life, have sung the anthem for my whole life, but given circumstances of how I grew up and the fact that I came from a poor background and the fact that I am chinese; most main stream australians and the politicians have considered me an alien. I now mainly reside in mainstream australia and have been here long enough to understand, what a hypocritical stance white australians has taken towards people like me. They've only accepted us because the rest of asia is going to pour lots of money into this country.
I am asian but have no idea of asia and my own background. People like me have never been fully accepted by society, have never been respected by them and probably never will, however they have kindly allowed us to live in their country. Kindly? Its all based on commercial and political reasons and in a way it makes me sick. I am now stuck in this country, having now become an asian who has a huge disgust and hate for foreign asian males from countries like japan, taiwan, korea, hong kong, singapore. A huge disgust for white females like Aussie Girl. Everytime I see a white female, and she looks at me..(which they tend to because all of a sudden I look appealing due to the large number of asians, but hey honestly, I still look kinda the same as before when you white people thought I was a freak).., I wonder if she even knows of that I DIFFERENTIATE myself from those that truly came from asia. This is all I ever do when I see a white girl, please please dont ever ever think Im from japan, hong kong, singapore, korea or taiwan. Because if you do I will end up finding you an absolute turn off and become even more depressed. Don't ever ask me why, but this is the way I turned out, having to constantly surpress my feelings. I actually choose to surpress my feelings because of the exact events that happened in my life, in others and in australia. I am stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck. I can't never like an asian girl. I simply can't and I will not pretend. I am now having to live with the remnants of the illusions I had with white girls. I can blame, America, Britain or Australia I want. Nothing will change for me and my sick feelings will always be there. I pray so hard each day it doesnt become something worse like hate. I need to leave this country. And please dont reply. First and last post.

Whatthe and certified psycho, I think you both need professional help...

The sooner you BAM's realise that being bitter and angry at "white girls" isn't going to help; the sooner you'll be able to escape this crap.

Stop treating all "white girls" as a single entity. Not ALL white girls hate asian guys....just as not ALL asian guys are skinny, acne-infested, unathletic and generally unnattractive nerds.

whatthe's blind hate is the perfect example. He says he has "disgust" for Aussie Girl despite the fact that she is in fact accepting of asian boys and the fact that he has nothing on her other than a random internet tag. Utter stupidity.

You bitter asian men need to snap out of it and stop being hypocritical. Stop prematurely judging all white girls and saying that they all "hate us". How the hell can you hate them for apparently judging you on your race when you're doing the exact same thing?

Teenagers, Goths, Emos, feeling repressed and an out-cast from Western Society? Well......TRY BEING AN ASIAN MAN!

And Nonconformity? right... I can't remember the last time saw a twenty something kid with a tattoo of an Asian letter on his wrist. You are one wicked free thinker! You want to be a rebel; stop being cool. Wear a pocket protector like he does, and get a hair cut. Like the Asian kids that don't leave the library for a twenty hours stretch. They're the ones that don't care what you think.

Nice House quote!

Hugh Laurie rules.

and yeah asians are so shafted.

I'm joking. Don't stab me.

I know why I am single, but it is discouraging to hear that my brothers out there isn't faring well with the ladies. I have gotten cold looks and rejected many times. I am gone to the clubs many times. I got rejected mainly because I am for one skinny 5'11 Asian and I don't have a lot to bring to the table (i.e. rich, big social circle). So I am working on that. But I am wonder how true is all this? Can someone send me an answer.

It is based on experience. I have had particularly bad experiences with white American women. I found nothing but racism among white women, particularly from the south while attending school in the midwest. They all preached Christianity and human love, though. But race trumped the cross. When I was in Boston, a white woman pointed a gun at me and accused me of harassment just out of the blue. It turned out to be a toy gun. A drunk white woman came to me and showed a middle finger in Washington DC. My best friend a PhD from Harvard was screwed professionally by a white woman from California. Eventually they charged her with racial discrimination and sent her home. Recently, in Hawaii a white woman gave a knife to my sister and told her to stab me if I spoke loudly and then described my body parts..strange. White women and fair looking Indian women are more crazy than bigoted in my experience. East Asian women pander to white males and prefer white males in all walks of life, but then again there are East Asian men who also pander to whites as the recent Tan Ngueyen incident of Orange County shows.

i love u BAM

This sounds kind of shallow, but I don't really care. I grew up ABC and have dated white women before, and thought the relationships were typical. But I started noticing that a lot of older white women end up being fat, one of my phobias. Same with white guys. So I prefer dating Asians now. I also think that is why white guys sometimes go for Asian girls--pretty much because the Asian girls don't get fat as quickly. That may sound shallow, but it's totally true...

Aside from the fat issue, from the perspective of a white guy, the Asian girl is a lot easier to get than another white girl, since the Asian chicks think that white guys are good catches. This basically means that the white guy is not really all that sociable, and can't really get another white girl. Next time you see an interracial couple, see if you think that the white dude is kind of weird socially or just weird looking. Lot of times, but not always, they are...

Also, about the fat thing, it's not really white, but more of an American thing. Yes, I've been around West Europe, and they're pretty thin there. So the fat thing is because of fatty diets and is an American thing. But then again, this is America, so it's a fat issue that doesn't apply too much to Asians, but definitely does to white girls and guys...

Hey,

I am an Dark Asian guy and i want to know. Why don't white chicks like asian guys who may be dark or white?
Why don't they talk with Asian guys like me? I tried having a conversation, but this white chick look like she have her own culture not to get involve with asian people certainly not talking with asian people like me.
I m built, with muscular body, i don't see why this is an issue.

Please email me with a response
My email address:
rmadrid8787@yahoo.com.au

sincerely
Dr Choco

Im a black dude. Just act black, theyll love you

*act black*...hmm. what great advice

for all u chinese american guys, just come to uk. girls will love u here. or go any where in europe. i have seen in london alone chinese guys going out with white girls. so i think its a matter of where u grow up.

my advice to chinese guys is start becoming bad. but chinese type is not a bad thing cuz they it helps to get a job if u are chinese as they are sterotyped as being good. if u see da stats chinese ppl outearn black, latinos. and even of da amount of education they get.

but if u see da history, black man were considered ugly just 30 years ago. its all trends and how da media covers u. i wont be surprised if in 30 years girls start going out with chinese guys. newways its not like no ones getting a girl.

i was chatting to this black guy and i told him why do u date white girls rather than black, da black guy does white girls are easier to impress. black girls just dnt get impressed to easily.

and true what this person in one of da above tread stated, whenever u see a white guy with a chinese girl, the white guy seems to be weird.

patterns are always changing, just look at the patterns 20 years ago.

if u see da stats chinese ppl outearn black, latinos.

but if u see da history, black man were considered ugly just 30 years ago. its all trends and how da media covers u. i wont be surprised if in 10 years white girls only start going out with chinese guys. newways its not like no ones getting a girl.

i was chatting to this black guy and i told him why do u date white girls rather than black, da black guy does white girls are easier to impress. black girls just dnt get impressed to easily.

another thing i noticed when a coloured man goes out with a white girl he goes out with only attractive ones, not any fat and ugly ones. but when a white man goes out with a chinese girl shes normal looking.

and true what this person in one of da above tread stated, whenever u see a white guy with a chinese girl, the white guy seems to be weird.

patterns are always changing, just look at the patterns 20 years ago.

When ever I hear a non-black girl say she like blacks dudes its not because of his looks, but the macho attitude, athletic build and such. dont be confused 2/3rds of blacks are in the middle class. Im with you on that. Most Asian girls date the white men the white girls didnt want.

anonymous, is your use of some sort of 'pidgeon english' intentionally designed to convey some kind of 'vibe' or image or ???

Dam James, you went crazy on your post. Which one are you refering to qustioner?

"use da stats" how much additional time can it actually take to write 'the' vs. 'da'? etc. etc.

"Also, if you want to date White girls, then just go to the source. Europe. Again, your Asian-American-Ness is just so incredibly sexy anywhere on the continent of Europe.

To get a date. My advice--get out of the US.

I did. I have never looked back.

It was indeed exhilirating to be checked out by chicks. Good looking ones at that. If you are well developed by American standards, you are positively Arnold over there.

Yikes, the girls behind the lunch counter. The incredibly sexy girls on scooters slowing down to check you out. For a poor, short, near-sighted Chinese boy from an all white neighborhood, this was something so unexpected my socks kept coming off."

for all u chinese american guys, just come to uk. girls will love u here. or go any where in europe. i have seen in london alone chinese guys going out with white girls. so i think its a matter of where u grow up.

Posted by: Anonymous at November 13, 2006 10:12 AM

i have read and heard many such reports from east asian guys who have come back from europe, reguarding how euro girls treated them.

so, my question is for east asian guys who have been to europe - do euro girls 'love' or have a 'thing' for east asian guys, so to speak? i know looks and personality plays a large part and each person would have a different experience. also, i'd love to hear from any euro girls on this matter as well.

as a single east asian guy myself, i'd like to know whether there is any truth to this and i'm planning to go to euroland in the future, as well.

thanks, to all those who answered to this post.

I'm very proud of my race and i hate....HATE the "sellouts" as you pple call them.(im chinese guy). However, I hate "sellout" guys way more than "sellout" girls. To me there's nothing more disgraceful as scourning your own race. Even if is to socially fit in, throwing away your heritage and doing things to make yourself appear white as well as joining in on the asain stereotypes makes me sick. you know the people im talking about...those fucking tools that work for hollywood to portray poor, disgraceful asians in movies and televison.....and that deformed bastard that got onto American Idol who's making money by disgracing his own people...what a fucking tool for making hollywood make a douch bag/sick joke of him ......AHHH i hate those people, they dont deserve to call themselves asians. (they should all consider platic surgury like michael jackson...enlarge their eye, hair transplants, boob jobs, penis enlargements or whatever the fuck they think is wrong with themselves)

and for u fucks that are willing to marry asain women right off the boat...shame on you...if you cant even speak the same language, and u marry just to have a house cleaning sex doll, then you are one sick pathetic bastard. dont say ur helping them because you think u saved them from a crappy place.....what the hell makes u so damn self-righteous....using pitty as an excuse for self gain....you bastards make me sick

Everytime i read something like this i notice things related to sex like...asian women are tighter...they are more kinky....they crave giant white cock........god damn it grow up, u sick fucks that turn such discussion into this stupid shit should be evoked of your online privileges

i really dont care if asian girls date white guys, maybe they prefer them... who the hell knows when it comes to things girls think about. So instead of trying to boost your own egos by saying asian guys have smaller dicks, all u white guys should just stop specualting stupid shit like that.

one other thing i've noticed is that asian guys call asian girls sellouts just because they are dating a white guy.........u need to shut up and wake the fuck up....maybe if you actually asked them out before some other guy did, they'ed actually go out with u instead...calling girls of your own race sellouts based on situations you don't fully understand is so damn stupid........

asian Girls....if you are dating for love and a healthy relationship...power to you..but if your simply doing it to fit in and in the process you consider all asian guys as inferior to whites then i say to u you.... u are a real whitewashed mook thats a sellout to your race (dont blame the media unless you consider yourself a weak minded bimbo)

fianlly i would like to say that all asians should take pride in their heritage....the rich culture, the thousands of years of history...all the good stuff...dont stand for the crap white people put on tv.......and dont believe all the bad things America makes of the "evil" chinese government. If you've not lived in china and all your conceptions are from the american eduaction system, you have no right to talk about the matter.

Last but not least.....FUCK FALONGON for messing with peoples heads...though u claim ur trying to abolish the communist party in china...ur just a cult thats after peoples money....all u sickfucks dont and wont accomplish anything.....i just feel sorry for the people thats been brainwashed by the sick fucks

i won't call them white's they are actually pink with pig like skin who want's do date with a pig anyway huh!

"all asians should take pride in their heritage....the rich culture, the thousands of years of history...all the good stuff..." zhou , i agree with u ! i support u !!! in no case shoud i will give up my cultural heritage !!!asian is my origin , china is my homland !!

Hi everybody,

I´m Thai and I live in Germany! When I was 6 years old I moved from Thailand to Germany. It was kinda strange to be the only one in the class who looked differently. You have to know that in Germany the Asian population is just in the minority. About 7% of the German population. But honestly...I am glad that that I´m different! It didn´t matter if I was in the kindergarden, in the first class or in the high-school...it was always the same story: I, me and myself against the rest of the class! *lol*
However, I´ve never felt inferior to my classmate or friends. FAR FROM IT!!! I was the strongest in our class and the best soccer player in our team. It was pretty easy for me to make new friends since they automatically accept you and, but above all, respect you!
To be honest, I´ve never paid attention to the girls until I was 13! The only thing I had paid attention at that time was "Ninja Turtles", "Saber Raider" and "Captain Tsubasa". For me...the girls seem to be like "jiggling-flat-titted-boys-in disguise" on the fringes.

I don´t know, I have always the feeling that the girls in this age were more ... mature , intelligent and further developed as their counter part!

I´ve never paid attention to them but I know from my friends and from observing that they kept an eye on me!
The girls in the class always sent a love-letter in which they wrote:

"Do you wanna go out with me?! YES or NO!!!! BUT PLEASE DON`T MARK A CROSS ON BOTH of them!!!" LOOOOOL

Damn...thinking back at those days I realized I was such a jack-ass! *g*

I don´t know why I became so a lame bad-ass. It might be the impact of my first contact with the female gender in the age of 8 years. My mom visited a friend of her who had a daugther in my age. Of course..adults had to talk. And we had to play. It just simply depends on the way SHE and ME interpreted the word "play" in a totally different dimension!

She said: " Do you like to PLAY!"
I sad: "Ok..."
Than she vanished behind the cupboard and came back with DOLLs!

I thought "WHAT the fuck are you doing to me?!"

Of course she was Barby and I was Ken!
And...of course Barbe and Ken had a nice shitty house in gay-ass-pink!
Actually, I can´t remember what we played.

.... I can ONLY remember that Ken rampaged the entire interior decoration in a good decent "Die-Hard2-Manner" , but mostly with his "Ninja-Turtle-Roundhouse-Kick"... you know what I mean?!
Of course you know what I mean...BECAUSE this was also one of your action-hero´s move!

Nevertheless, "Ninja-Turtle-Roundhouse-Kick" became pretty boring since the girls got boobs and bootys. And at the time I paid seriously attention to the girls!

I thanked everyday my mom and dad that they gave me their genes! I´m happy that I´m different Different can also mean special. You are automatically special if you´re the only one with an Asian- touch in a caucasian class. But I think it depends on yourself how you want to be seen from other people!

It might be true that good looking can be beneficial, but it´s just only half of the truth.

The way you think, the way you talk, walk , dress, your humor etc.... give a good sum up of your person in a great picture!

All this tributes makes the women´s heart dance...!!! Believe me...it really works!!!

To my person, all my girlfriends were whites...I don´t know why, but it might be because of the low representation of the Asian population in Germany. Or it might be the preference which I developed in my childhood, since I´ve always been surrounded by "white" girls!

In my opinion, I can´t and I won´t understand why an Asian man should fell inferior to others!
Nobody is born in inferiority! Far from it!
We should be proud of our history and culture! What else do you have if you take everything way from mankind! NOTHING...plain body-part, same body-function, same blood colours.

My mom told me:

"If you walk on the street and turn in a corner you might meet a girl who doesn´t think that interesting. But when continue to walk down the street to next corner, you will might meet the girl who becomes infatuated with you!"

Why do Asian men only complain that Asian women and white women don't want them! Like i can understand your frustration with Asian women not being attracted to someone in there own race, but please explain the white part. White isn't the only other race option outside Asian. I'm sure that if you guys opened your options you'd find that a lot of pretty Latina's, black, native, Indian and so on girls are attracted to you. I'm tired of everyone always acting like white is the prize if your own race bails out on you. Open your eyes to everyone regardless of race, cause what matters in the long run is how the person treats and cares for you. Bye the way I think Asian guys are hot!

Asian men complain about white women (and not others) not liking them because they buy into the "white is better" bullshit in this country. That makes them no better than the Asian women they are complaining about who they think are traitors to their race by dating white men. Guys, stop with the double standards already. I agree, stop acting like white is the prize!

If you're going to be a bunch of viciously bitter bastards, then you only have yourselves to blame. See, everything White people don't dig about Asian men, Asian women REALLY don't dig about Asian men. Only reason some Asian women seek to date a White man is because they feel more feminine than if they're with an Asian man. Stop being so damn bitter, and break the "bitter Asian male" stereotype already!

Yea, Asian men!

Get confident, idiots!

Actually, I may be the anomaly here but -not to self promote or anything -I'm a pretty blond and I seek out hot asian guys. I just think they're really hot. I prefer them to my previous German/irish bf's. My biggest problem I've found is that the cultural expectations of relationships are different. I have had 3 long term relationships with asian men, the 1st was chinese, the second cambodian, My last bf's mother hated me, she was a viet immigrant, and i do not cook, and i actually don't know if my bf was too nice to me either.and I'm totally not subservient, which I can't say is what he was consciously seeking out, but holy crap! he wanted to make every decision for me and also felt free to criticize everything i do. Also I found that asians do not find white women as good wives as they dont spend their lives cleaning and cooking and serving their men, we make our own decisions and it hurt me to be so put down. I also felt that they were too free to "hang out" and spend all his time with hot girls even as friends and flirt with them and im not that open with relationships at all. My white bfs did not have such close relationships with other women as they felt it was disrespectful to me. its odd to me.im so not open. and im so not subservient. and i don't know what to do about asian mother in laws. Sorry, I love you asian men, i really am just trying to help you figure out how to solve this.

It's not just Asian men that fear rejection. It's the way men of all races are wired. MEN FEAR REJECTION AND WOMEN FEAR ABANDONMENT. This dating market disparity with Asian men always on the short end of stick is a two way disparity. It's not just White men winning over Asian men. It's also Black men winning over Asian men. (There are ample times when Black men win over White men too). However, it's usually White men beating Asian men in the competition.
Why is it happening? I think, it's because males of dominant ethnicity have built in advantage. Their standard, language (English), culture, movies (Hollywood) dominate over Asian counterparts. For example, for a white man to date an Asian girl, he does NOT need to gain fluency in Asian girl's Asian language. However, very rarely can an Asian men date a White girl without having (perfect) fluency in English.
There is also stupid racist and sexist stereotype of Asian men as being dominant, abusive, small (namely in private part). It's almost totally ignored and unspoken of that while there's plenty of ridicules about the size of Asian men's smallness, yet rarely are there such ridicules about Asian women's smallness (in that body part). If there's any truth about the exaggerated smallness of Asian male reproductive organ, there's equal truth in smallness and flatness in Asian female breast.
This is unfair. This is a very divisive and inflammatory issue. Yet there's nothing much that can be done about it. I can't help thinking if this disparity did not exist, that probably would not reduced the chance of a lonely isolated Asian guy turning into a mass murderer at VT. No doubt, it would have stopped this kind of bitter and inflammatory tension in Asian community.
To hell with it all, we all have to go sooner or later.

YEAH MY NAME IS WANG CAUSE I GOT AN [TMI -ed], SMALLNESS IS JUST SOMETHING THE WHITE [slur deleted -ed.] NEEDS TO CALL US WHEN US CHINESE MEN WERE [ew -ed.] HOT WHITE CHICK AND THE WHITE MAN WITH THE [TMI -ed.] HAD TO SAY SOMETHING TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT HIMSELF. ENUF SAID. BTW A [sexist comment deleted. -ed.] YES MY NAME IS WANG AND I CALL MY DICK WANG GET USED TO IT AMERICA CAUSE THE ASIAN INVASION HAS JUST BEGUN